Why Fools Fall in Love
by tearthgrrl
Summary: 3 TLK romance oneshots. A/N: only chapters 1 and 2 are the real deal. Chapter 3 just for fun. Pairings: Ed/OC, Shenzi/Banzai, and yes you heard right--Nuka/T
1. Why Fools Fall in Love

Ed meets a female hyena from another clan and it is automatically love at first sight. But unfortunately for the happy couple, the ones they most care about may also be obstacles.

I figured if I didn't post this story up this year I never would: as you may have guessed it is a Valentine's Day fic (that's been sitting in my documents for a couple years), and it's NOT solely dedicated to Shenzi and Banzai. Nope, this lovely little romance fic is all about Ed (and his girlfriend who'll be introduced in this story). I may post a 2nd chapter about Shenzi and Banzai, but that's not a promise (even though I would like to), since I can't really picture them being mushy or anything, which makes creating a romance chapter for them difficult.

**Marini**- healthy; pretty

Marini…I just like saying that name. Marini, Marini, Marini...

* * *

"198…199…200." T counted while staring outside the eye the trio's large elephant skull. She glanced down at Banzai and Shenzi, observing her from the ground. "That's all of 'em."

Banzai looked at Shenzi, who narrowed her eyes in thought. "Well, we got 'em outnumbered, but not by much." She looked back up to the eye socket. "Where they gatherin' at?" T examined the outside for a moment, then gazed down again.

"Pretty much just within the border." She informed, "I don't see anyone who looks authorative though."

Banzai watched Shenzi, her eyes unmoving as she stared hard at the ground. He glanced off to the side, then after feeling a tingle on his left foreleg, chewed at an irritating flea.

Late that morning, a group of newcomers appeared over the horizon, only to reveal more of them, and then more…and more. By the time it was discovered that all the ominous figures were hyenas, the entire plains on the western border had become flooded with their masses; what's more, they were all making their way to the Elephant Graveyard—for reasons unknown. The leaders, and T, had immediately congregated to figure out just who these foreigners were and why they were coming to their home.

Ed, who was always one to get bored in strategic situations, left to poke around for whatever food available. Shenzi had her paws full in working out their situation. Banzai remained at the skull; albeit no more drawn in to this than Ed, he waited at Shenzi's side to take out whatever orders she devised. And T was…a willing-to-aid volunteer.

"So, whadda we do?" The young female asked her matriarch.

"…Guess we can at least nip paranoia in the bud." She turned to her 2nd in command. "Banzai," he snapped at attention at her voice. "Meet me n' T at the edge of the borders," her tone became insinuating, "but not before tellin' everybody that we got company."

"Gotcha." He replied, getting up to leave. Shenzi rose too and the three ventured out together—her up front, Banzai in the middle, and T following closely. However, as Shenzi exited, Banzai lingered cautiously, and after glancing in her direction to confirm she was out of earshot, turned and gave T a nudge on her disc as she walked by.

"Hey," he spoke unusually low; she turned and looked at him curiously. "Watch her back, got it?" He said lightly. T gave him a once over, until her face grew a tiny smile, and she nodded, but not before giving him a wink. Pretending to be oblivious, he shoved her the rest of the way out and quickly made his way opposite their direction. But before any of them could get far, a voice called from above.

"I say, you three, down there!" Shenzi, Banzai and T halted in their tracks and exchanged puzzled glances, just before looking upward to see a blue-feathered, and…largely speech-enabled, hornbill. After observing the bird's appearance a moment, Shenzi and Banzai were dismayed to recognize him as a resident of the Pridelands; the king's majordomo to be exact. The winged Priderock official was hovering over them from a safe albeit audible distance.

"Whadda you want?" Banzai demanded irritably.

Zazu huffed, but nonetheless retained his diplomatic composure. "His royal sire would like to know what exactly is the meaning of this…this," he stammered—half out of fear, as he observed all the hyenas; half out of aggravation, as he knew he'd get little help with the situation from the graveyard leaders, "u-unforeseen assemblage of-of numerous masses! Particularly because it's hosting the specific carnivore the Pridelands has constantly worried over…"

Shenzi and T gave each other an uninterested glance during the majordomo's superfluous speech, whilst Banzai was trying to comprehend, between the accent and the advanced vocabulary, just what the heck the bird was trying to say.

"Look bird-brain," Shenzi interrupted, "whoevah these newcomahs think they are, you can tell his royal _blindness_ that they definitely ain't with us."

The comment obviously ruffling his feathers, Zazu proceeded to rebuke her. But unfortunately, the trio had long scattered after Shenzi had made her point—the Kenyan matriarch continued on her way toward the ever-growing crowd of hyenas, T following suite. Banzai was running full speed to alert the rest of the clan. The three were now either too far out of earshot, or too close to that horde for the hornbill's comfort. Grumbling to himself, the mortified majordomo took wing back into the Pridelands to give King Simba the news.

Approaching with caution, the two graveyarders could now hear the disorderly mumblings of the foreign clan—they all sounded mainly confused. Shenzi and T penetrated into the crowd, coming to a halt in the midst of the gigantic body. T leaned in close. "Are you sure it's a good idea to put ourselves in the middle of these guys?" She whispered. "You know a better way to get their attention?" Was her answer.

"Alright!" Shenzi shouted, quickly turning some heads. "I'm the leader of this place y'all are trespassin' on, so I better speak to who's in charge 'a this lil' get together, **NOW**."

The outsiders were indecisive on how to react, but most of them backed away, glanced at each other warily, and remained silent. Uncomfortable stares were to be seen as far as the mass extended. Shenzi's intimidating stance happened as expected in grabbing their attention, but she half-feared it might also scare off whoever she needed to get to the bottom of this. T kept an eye out for any possible threats, as well as members of their own clan coming to assist them, just as her eye caught a moving figure within the crowd.

Keeping on her toes, she observed him attentively—this unknown hyena coming in their direction, judging from his agile physique, seemed to be an upper-rank hunting leader. Watching Shenzi's back as promised, she braced herself for whatever this newcomer wanted to dole out. She watched as he cautiously emerged from the crowd…then felt her heart skip a beat.

Shenzi, unaware of her comrade's stunned condition, prepared herself for any funny business as well. The young hyena carefully approached her, then rubbed his neck uneasily.

"Well, ya see," he began, "the matriarch _would_ talk to you but…"

"But what?" She demanded.

He awkwardly glanced off to the side. Much to Shenzi's ignorance, T had kept staring at this hunting party leader the second he stepped out of ranks to talk—apparently she'd not braced herself enough.

When he finally did speak however, Shenzi herself couldn't have anticipated what came out of his mouth.

"…We can't find her."

* * *

Ed pressed his nose flat to the ground, trudging carefully to be sure he didn't overlook a promising scent. Stepping over yet another barren skeleton, he quietly, albeit somewhat clumsily, lurked through the shadows of a murky area in the Elephant Graveyard. Mist leaking from nearby geysers, he kept his ears sharply at attention to compensate for the limited visual range. No luck from his quest for food so far, but it was better than getting in the way of one of Shenzi's complex battle plans.

He stumbled upon a large tusk, and after inspecting it a moment, gave it a tap to see if any marrow remained inside. A hollow echo was his answer. Shrugging, he continued his leisurely expedition until a flicker up ahead caught him by surprise. Dropping close to the ground, he could see the shadow of an unknown creature just on the other side of a turned-over elephant's skull. Treading softly, he skulked around the bony structure close enough to hear it moving; from its own careful steps, it too must've been trying to sneak around. But what for? …Unless it was some unfortunate prey that took the wrong turn and now found itself ear-deep in hyenas. Giggling softly, not caring if the animal heard him—it wouldn't get far when it tried to flee if his clan had anything to say about it—Ed braced himself, and with a snarl leapt into sight.

Whatever he _thought_ was lurking by that skull packed a pretty good wallop—if there was any prey there it was blocked out by the strong paw mining into his face. With a hard "THUMP!" Ed's back was to the ground.

Gibberish cursing echoed throughout every inch of the graveyard, then the 3rd-in-command brought his foreleg to one of his bulbous eyes. Suddenly a gasp reached his ears.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry! I thought-!! …Wow, I really did a number on you, didn't I?"

Albeit he couldn't see whoever was talking to him—his eyes were clenched from pain—he growled and nodded. Sounds of somebody approaching from the left came just before the unknown, feminine, voice spoke again.

"Here, lemme help you up."

Ed managed to get to all fours thanks to this stranger, and peeled his eyes open to see her.

"Sorry," She laughed, "I'm just getting used to my strength too."

One look at her spot pattern and he was without words. Without clue what to do next, Ed's jaw dropped—although this female did help him after injuring him, her reasons for doing so were quickly discovered. She was an outsider! …Albeit a pretty outsider.

His reaction not lost to her, she bashfully, and warily, took a few steps back. "Yeah, you caught me, I'm trespassing." She gave him a jesting yet determined look. "Gonna try to kill me now?"

Ed gave her a once-over; no injuries, her fur was clean, and she seemed decently fed. What _really_ caught his eye though, was her appearance. She looked…_very_ good, to say the least. This puzzled him though—how could any outsider, no matter how resourceful, be in such impressive condition? She couldn't have been alone, but if that was the case how would a group of unidentified hyenas get this deep into the graveyard without being noticed?

Weighing the odds, he decided to let this female speak for herself, _then_ see what could be done. So in response to her question, he shook his head.

She blinked, almost surprised, prior to crooking a brow in suspicion. "Turn me in?"

He shook his head again.

She turned her head slightly, giving him a once-over herself—obviously an alpha; he looked very stealthy, and from the cuts on his ears she assumed he was quite the scrapper. Though if he gave her any trouble she could easily take him, especially judging by their previous accident. His face seemed to intrigue her; it was…unique, but somehow cute.

After deciding he wasn't _seriously_ dangerous, the foreign hyena relaxed slightly, smiling at him nervously.

"I guess you're wondering why an outsider would be out here in range for half a ton of native clan to rip her to shreds."

He nodded.

"Actually, I'm not really alone, just…" she sighed in reluctance, "lost. My clan and I were separated when I um…" her gaze lowered to the side, a bit timid, "busied myself in personal affairs." Glancing back she noticed he was staring at her blankly, so she abruptly cut to the chase. "Anyway, listen, I've got to get back to my clan ASAP. Yours has probably noticed we're here and if I'm not with them to explain why to the matriarch, things could get ugly." Ed gave her a strange look, visibly perplexed. Reading his expression, the unknown female's eyes widened for a moment, prior to giving him an embarrassed smile.

"Oh, wait… I didn't say who I was, did I?" Ed just cocked his head, giving her a purposely creepy smile. Its intent however, was wholly opposite from its presumed effect—she laughed, not in a deriding manner, more in a "you're starting to grow on me" manner. The male was taken aback

"It's like this…" She continued, "In a nut shell, _I'm _the matriarch of that clan."

That however, made his jaw drop.

"Yeah, screwy huh? A matriarch who can't find her own clan."

He tilted his head, letting his tongue dangle. She blinked, tilting hers slightly to look at him from the same perspective.

"You don't…talk much, do you?"

Ed grinned—truly he did love it when introductions came to this—clearing his throat, he explained in his own words that he'd noticed a foreign clan but came here to hunt, entrusting the matriarch's judgment, then said how he'd mistaken her for prey and wanted to apologize, taking his time to prevent any stuttering of course.

She stared, giving him the expectation of either shuffling away awkwardly, exploding into laughter, or asking him if he ever suffered a head injury. But instead,

"Oh, I see. Apology accepted." She smiled at him tenderly. "And my bad for punching you."

A dumbstruck stare, tongue swaying left to right, was her reply.

"Well…can you take me to see the matriarch?" She asked after a momentary pause.

Straightening his head back in interest, Ed cackled at her inquisitively.

"My name?" She asked. He nodded, earning another smile from her.

"Marini."

* * *

"The herds migrate from the western lands this time of year, so Marini's clan migrates with them. We've been following them for about a month now, but after discussing which way to head in last night, she said for us to come here." The high-ranking male finished.

"To _my_ lands?" Shenzi doubtfully replied.

"Not exactly. The herds were getting wise, so they took a new migration pattern. Marini figured if we cut through here, we'll meet 'em from the side. No one knew that anybody lived in…" he trailed off for a moment, clearly observing the barren landscape, especially the numerous chewed-on skeletons, "this kind of place."

Growing more impatient by the second, Shenzi put a paw on her hip. "Ok, so if I ain't talkin' to whatsername, who _am_ I talkin' to?"

"Temporary hunting leader Nakaki." He replied respectfully.

"Temporary?"

"The matriarch has relatives in my clan. She asked for them to bring assistance with the new migration; I volunteered since-"

"You're the highest alpha male they have." Said a timid feminine voice. Nakaki gave Shenzi a puzzled look, "How'd you know that?"

She raised a brow. "I didn't say anythang." She told him simply, moving aside to reveal who did. She couldn't help but notice the size his eyes grew to once he saw who was behind her. "What's a mattah, never seen a girl your age before?"

He appeared too thunderstruck to answer.

"HEY!"

Quickly shaking his head to snap out of it, he directed full attention back to the Kenyan matriarch.

"U-uh, my apologies. You…surprised me." He rubbed his neck awkwardly. Bashful T hid behind Shenzi, who crooked a brow at the young male.

"…When I asked if ya'd ever seen a girl before it was originally sarcastic."

_Meanwhile_…

Banzai ran straight to the horde as fast as his four legs allowed—about half the clan bustling not far behind. The minute they heard the news, their first instincts were to confront the trespassers, but their orders were to stay put until either he arrived with further instruction, or if the foreign clan got hostile.

By the time he passed the skull again, the black line of the mass was just barely visible against the horizon. Boosting up speed, he was nearly in earshot to tell Shenzi he'd arrived…until the unfortunate male found himself kissing the dirt.

His face skidded a couple inches through solid ground, before he came to a complete stop. …To which he slowly lifted his head, hacked out the mud, raised a paw to his aching muzzle as he felt the dirt crumpling out of his fur, just before he growled slightly…

Then raised his head to shout a few livid obscenities—not caring if it was heard by someone in his clan or not; he could've embarrassed Shenzi in front of a bunch of shocked foreigners for all he cared.

"Looks like _somebody_ had a bad trip! Hahahahaaa!"

Banzai steered toward the direction of that voice, to see two adolescent males hooting it up on a nearby rock, slanted in a ramp-like formation. Obviously outsiders, they were completely identical with the exception of one with a spot on his front leg. That same hyena smirked directly at him.

"Hey buddy, why the rush?" He cackled.

The injured male's growls rumbled in the back of his throat, loud enough for them to hear. The male glanced at him amusingly.

"Uh-oh. Hey bro, I think we made 'em mad." He elbowed his cohort in mock horror.

"Maybe we better get outta here." The second prankster replied mirthfully. They both started laughing at their prankish deed once again.

Banzai was about to storm up to that slanted rock and give them a beating so unspeakable their mother would feel it…until he noticed something lying by their feet—something he just realized was tangled around one of _his_. Albeit the object was now loosely wound, its likelihood of growing in _this_ place made its ill-use plain as the dirt on his face. Banzai cut the rest of the extended vine from his back leg, then growled furiously, causing both hyenas to shut up.

"What the heck do you two boneheads think you're doin'?!" He yelled, his faintly bleeding lip stinging in reaction. The one with no spot on his leg, smiling blithely, gave him a half-serious look, taking a couple steps down the ramp.

"Uh, passing time?"

His brother walked aside him. "Allow me to introduce the two genius pranksters, who just graced you with their latest idea—name's Burufan." He turned to elbow his sibling again. "And this here's my twin, Burutan."

Burutan, the one with no spot on his leg, half-grinned at the fuming alpha male. "You really need to loosen up, dude."

"Where'd you get that anyway?!" Banzai demanded, gesturing to the vine he untangled from his leg. "No wonder that banana beak was givin' us the third degree! And another thing—if you're gonna swipe from the Pridelands, do it right and get a wildebeest or something!"

"Oh we're saving our appetites for when we blow this joint." Burufan replied. Burutan nodded, "Our matriarch should have us outta here any minute."

"Not fast enough." Banzai growled, just before leaping at them.

Both brothers' eyes widened, until they scrambled out of the way; just inches from losing a chunk of their hides.

* * *

"Ed? Hmmm, that's an unusual name." Marini said, walking by the 3rd-in-command as they traveled to the border of the graveyard. "Don't think I've ever met anybody with one like that. …But, it's cute." She smiled. "I think it fits you."

Ed shrugged—hiding a faint smile—trying to avoid flattery. "So, how're you going to get me to your matriarch anyway?" She heard him laugh out a brief sentence. "_Easy_? How is getting an audience with the highest leader easy?"

This time he didn't bother hiding the grin, and told her simply and bluntly, exactly how it would be no problem. She started.

"3rd-in-command?! I assumed you were up in ranks but, definitely not like this. N-not that I don't think you couldn't do it, it's just-" The western matriarch stopped there, after looking directly at Ed and seeing the bothered look he had. Realizing how that must've sounded, she looked away, clear regret in her eyes.

"It's just…" She tried to make amends, but the male was starting to get ahead of her. The foreign hyena ran to catch up with him. Upon reaching his side, she saw the look he previously gave her remained intact; only this time, he wasn't even looking at her. Marini felt ashamed. So, in an attempt to placate him, she spoke softly.

"Ed?" He glanced at her apathetically.

"I don't know if you noticed, but if you're really 3rd-in-command like you say you are, then you probably recognize a greenhorn matriarch when you see one." She looked to see if he was paying attention; his gaze had moved from her, but his ears were perked. Feeling a bit hopeful, she went on.

"My mom retired only a few months ago, and when she appointed me, I didn't have much time to plan things out for the herd migration. And when the herds changed pattern on us…that made things even worse." She giggled timorously. "Let's just say I bet the elders in my clan have seen less sloppy journeys for food." She looked at him to see if he'd changed his mood, but now his ears weren't even paying mind to her. Marini's head dropped, so she continued venturing with him to the native matriarch.

After a moment however, she felt a playful shove from the side. Looking over, she saw Ed, head tilting, a tongue-detailed grin on his face. Marini didn't know what to think. He chuckled, then assured her he'd seen worse than an accidental invasion, and it wasn't the worst a greenhorn matriarch could do. She nearly beamed. Ed tried not to ogle—she _was_ technically a trespasser—but…with those bright eyes, that fur color a shade lighter than his, and that smile…she was just so darned cute.

Trying to make the situation not appear to be a big deal, Ed shrugged and just smiled at her sympathetically. Marini flushed, looking away self-consciously.

"You wanna know what I used to do before my mom stepped down?" He humored her, giving the female his attention.

"_Baby-sit_. If a hunting party, sentries, or some other group of alphas were out, guess who watched their pups? Chyeah, and they made _me_ matriarch."

Knowing he could top that with _any_ story from his puphood, Ed thought about countering, but let her go on.

"I did learn _some_ things—once or twice, I baby sat teenagers! You'd be surprised at how protective those parents could be."

His parent's own brief, yet hawk-like, period of overprotectiveness crossed Ed's mind as he took it in; raising a brow, he turned and gave her a look that said "Try me."

Pausing, as if deciding whether she should, the rookie matriarch placed a paw to her chin, even taking time to look at the scenery around them. For what reason she'd want to view the landscape, Ed had no clue; this place had about as much to see as a century-old rhinoceros.

Then at one moment, Ed believed to see her eyes light up; shortly afterward, Marini shrugged and grinned at him mischievously.

"Did you know that if your front paw is bigger than your mouth, you're going to die soon?"

Furrowing his brow, Ed held up his right foreleg to examine the size, when he was unexpectedly thrown off balance—right off a small ledge and into a heaping pile of crust-engraved bones. The pachyderm remains flew everywhere from his rough landing, and coughing up grime and years of dust, the tricked hyena stumbled his way out.

After hacking up the rest of the filth and muck, what had took place quickly set in, and Ed's normally bulbous eyes grew larger—usually it was he who could pull class-A stunts like this, but getting the butt-end himself was near impossible for anyone to pull off…until today.

Laughter approaching from the left side, Ed looked to see Marini melodiously coming down a slanted ledge in his direction. He could only gape—simply amazed.

"Like I said," she began, "I picked up a few things."

_Meanwhile…_

"Maybe he was a wrong target to pick!" Burutan panted, still running alongside his brother as Banzai snapped at their heels.

"How was I ta know he was an alpha?!" Burufan defended. "The guy looked like he was runnin' errands—alphas from our clan don't work like that! They just stand around to mark the borders all day!"

Burutan glanced back, "Well, if we don't find the clan soon, _we'll_ be used to mark _their_ borders!"

Suddenly, the elder of the two stared up ahead, "Wait, there they are!" He grinned. "Ha! This guy can't take on a whole clan; we'll be home free in no time!"

"If we get there!" Burutan said, still looking at the angry male on their tails.

"Hope you two got close relatives in there; they're gonna need somebody ta recognize the bodies." Banzai wickedly grinned, purposely showing all his razor-like teeth; some of them still smudged with dirt or blood. Burutan gulped, yet his older sibling frowned.

"C'mon 'Tan; just a few more feet to cover!" He shouted to his younger twin. But the distracted sibling didn't seem to hear; Burufan shoved him. "Focus! Keep your eyes on the-!"

The risk of colliding with about 20 hyenas is not rare in most parts of Africa, but the chances are _highly_ increased when one is not watching where they're going. Catching the attention of Nakaki, Shenzi, and T, a nearby flank of hyenas were suddenly bowled over by causes unknown; though T believed she had made out a tail or two flickering out of eyeshot once the crowd had settled.

Detecting something from the corner of her own eye, Shenzi glanced back to see someone familiar rushing their way. To see him in a hurry to get to them was no surprise—to see him with a view veins pulsing in his neck wasn't either, just not under these conditions. Inquisitively, she watched him approach the group, heaving from exhaustion.

"What happened to you?" Shenzi said, noticing the dirt still flaking from his coat. Banzai growled in frustration.

"I'd show it on the guys who did it to me if I could find 'em!"

"Guys?" T questioned.

"Uh, anything we can do to help?" Nakaki asked.

"Yeah," Banzai spat, stalking toward the younger male, who backed away instinctively, "they _were_ with _you_."

T got to all fours and quickly put herself between them, nervous but wanting to avoid hostility—the last thing this leaderless clan needed was any bloodshed.

"Alright, take it easy," she neutrally told him, "you're sure they were from this clan?"

"Dunno if it was this one; but they definitely had the same fur as _him_." He gestured to Nakaki again.

This time the young alpha's eyes bulged. "Wait, were they…identical?"

"Huh?" The Kenyan alpha male furrowed his brow.

"Twins, rock-for-brains!" Shenzi told him.

"_Twins_?" This time it was T's eyes that widened.

Shenzi took a second look at Banzai. "Wait, you're tellin' me—" she examined his busted-up face more closely, "they did that to _you_?"

He nodded petulantly.

"Was it a prank?" T inquired.

Banzai spat out another clump of dirt, "A pretty _sick_ one!" Was his irritable reply. Shenzi focused back on the young hunting leader, anything but impressed.

"This is how your matriarch runs thangs? Runnin' off and lettin' her lackeys do whatever they want?"

"Look, I know you're mad," Nakaki calmly explained, trying his best not to offend anyone, "but try to understand—she's only been going at this a couple months."

"I've seen rookies pick fights with _lions_ on a power-trip, but messin' with ME is just plain stupid."

"Let's try to look at this a different way," T offered, "if you really think about it, we're pretty lucky to have only Banzai—er, that is, only _one_ of us get hurt. With a clan this big and no solid authority, we could be a lot worse off."

Neither Shenzi nor Banzai commented on that proposal; the Kenyan matriarch and 2nd-in-command exchanged arduous glances. T hoped that meant they saw her point, as did Nakaki.

"Believe it or not," she added, glancing at Banzai, "I've been pranked by them worse than that; they're members of my old clan."

"If that's true then how do I know the rest of 'em won't try anything funny while they're here either?" Shenzi glowered at Nakaki.

"Those two've been a handful for them and back home too; see the only reason they're here is because they've got relatives in high places." He explained. Hoping to get rid of any further qualms, he approached as Banzai respectfully as possible. "Could you identify the two on site?" He asked.

"I _could_, if you moved the flank they're hidin' behind!" Banzai motioned to a place in the crowd nearby.

Nakaki turned and upon seeing the aforementioned rank, signaled everyone to move. Once all had stepped aside, the twins were uncloaked beneath the veil of the mob, cowering like trapped rats.

A chorus of groans emitted once Marini's clan realized it was them. "It'd be just like _those_ two to cause trouble!" One said.

Nakaki shook his head ashamedly, "Not again."

The twins, not oblivious to the number of glares and scowls they were getting, shrunk away from the mob. Nakaki gave them a stern look as well, before turning to Banzai apologetically.

"I collect responsibility for these two when their cousin isn't around—it was my fault and I'll make sure it won't happen again."

The 2nd in command rolled his eyes, looking away to wipe the blood from his chin.

"Aside from your lil' predicament, you can relax," Shenzi told him, "we ain't in trouble."

"_They_ are." T stepped in.

"What?" Banzai looked back.

The Kenyan matriarch swung her head in Nakaki's direction, "Gender isolation over here says they got a missin' matriarch."

He crooked an eyebrow. "So…they're lookin' for her in here?"

"Sort of—they _lost_ her in here." T explained.

"It was right when we entered these borders, so she couldn't have gotten far. If you'll help us, we'll be out of your fur in no time." The young hunting leader elaborated. "And for the record," he added, glancing at Shenzi politely, "I _have_ seen females before."

"Go ahead and let 'im shred us!" A voice from the crowd spoke up. All eyes turned to look at Burufan glowering at Banzai impenitently. "Our cousin's the matriarch. We'll see if she'll take that lyin' down."

"If you haven't noticed," Nakaki told him, "your cousin isn't here."

Shenzi narrowed her eyes as she had this morning, looking off to the side a moment. Then in one motion, she was on all fours proficiently, turning her head right.

"T, you stay here and make sure everybody keeps 'emselves planted." She turned her head left. "Banzai, you come with me—we're gonna find whatsername if it kills ya."

At her instructions, T near-immediately flushed at making eye contact with Nakaki, who seemed intrigued; Banzai however was more than happy to get this over with. And trailing right behind Shenzi, the two were headed off to the heart of the graveyard.

* * *

"And _that's_ how you get a guy to try to swallow his own foot." Marini laughed. Ed chuckled darkly, hanging onto every word. Her cleverly inconspicuous hi-jinx instantaneously catching his interest, he'd begged her to teach him all her mischievous little secrets in return for some info of his own. He couldn't wait to try out some new material on the guys first chance he got. …For now though, he could take awhile with her.

"I picked up a thing or two from my cousins; they've got a reputation back in their South African clan as quite the troublemakers. But the only one they've never pulled one over on, is ME." She grinned. Ed smiled at her fondly.

"So, I'm sorry for wondering, but, how'd you get those scars on your ears? Battle trophies?" She winked.

Ed chuckled, obviously flattered, and explained that he was born with them, and if there was anyone who could scrap around here, it was a close buddy of his. He himself was actually more interested in something _else_ than fighting. It didn't top humor, and it came close to food, but it was enough to occupy quite a bit of his time. The foreign matriarch giggled.

"More of a lover than a fighter, huh?" She grinned flirtatiously. "Great minds think alike."

The smile he replied with revealed faint confusion. She read the expression, and looked away self-consciously.

"I don't really know if I should tell you this." She admitted. "But you seem real easy to talk to Ed," Marini paused, "actually…you're about the best of all the natives I've had to come across on this whole migration thing."

Ed smiled genteelly, leaning in close, and told her softly that she had nothing to worry about with him around. So what if she was technically a trespasser, and a rival matriarch to his best friend; she was also pretty fun. Not to mention the first female he'd met since Abeni who genuinely enjoyed being around him. And unlike the other ones who were meaningless flings, he didn't have to worry about the chance of her being yet another thrill-seeker wanting to date a hitman, since in all this time he'd never spoken a word to her about his past.

Marini blushed, her insolating fur nearly burning her face. "Geez, you've really had practice at knowing what a girl likes, haven't ya?"

He chuckled impishly and looked aside, shrugging.

"…Ok, I guess it wouldn't hurt. It's hard to say though;" she looked up at him candidly, "you remember that 'personal' thing I mentioned?"

He nodded.

"Well…the whole reason I got separated from my clan was because of Uwaka." She looked at him tenderly. "Uwaka is one of my boyfriends."

His former dream-like trance snapped wide open, he stared at her the minute he heard "boyfriends". Marini went on.

"He showed up right after I instructed everybody to cut through the graveyard. We flirted, slipped away, and…had some alone time in this old den he found. By the time we made it out the clan was long gone."

He stared at her open-mouthed. She raised an eyebrow, "What?"

The pitch of his "laughter" clearly indicating some sort of dilemma, Marini calmly and maturely stopped walking to look him in the eye, as did he. The two sat on their haunches, gazing at no one but each other.

"Ed, we're young—you can't tell me _you've_ never sowed wild oats."

From his tone, Marini deciphered something along the lines of how his popularity with the females of his clan was _completely_ different from hers with the males.

She gave him a look. "Well if _males_ can fool around and get praised, at least I can do it and not hear lip."

Ed scowled, but wanting to keep his cool, told her simply that even if at first thought that seemed true, females were more in danger of getting hurt.

"Oh really? I've broken hearts just like any male would—yes, after dating. And briefly or not, the only difference was I at least had enough courtesy to remember their names!"

Ears now flat, he stated that names wouldn't matter if something…unfavorable happened to a female with her habits.

"Well something 'unfavorable' could happen to a male too." She seemed very headstrong about this. "He could get his heart broken."

His bulbous eyes narrowing, he told her straight out that lavishly dating females was safer because males were more…lusty.

"I _know_ how to take care of myself—I may be new to the matriarch game, but I've been experiencing life for 22 years; if you count dating, 7 years."

Faintly baring his teeth, he said it wouldn't be fair when one of these days some dirt-bag male would show up to just use and lose her. Not bothering to make it a rhetorical female, but draw on _her_.

"If I were male, this wouldn't be an issue. How fair does that sound? But if you know any way that would make you more comfortable with my dating habits, please tell me." She told him boldly.

Ed's shoulders became stiff from all the altercation; looking at Marini, he saw that frown of hers unchanged. His scowl too remained intact. For awhile, they just glared at each other nonstop, not moving a single inch.

…Then surprising them both, he kissed her.

…Surprising them even more, she returned it.

_Meanwhile…_

The western clan bustled amongst each other; some waiting instruction, some glowering at the twins, the rest just as confused and agitated as they were this morning. T stood aside Nakaki, inspecting the border, waiting for Banzai, Shenzi and this greatly sought matriarch to return.

T shuffled her paws ineptly, butterflies whirling in her stomach. Nakaki too appeared tense over something. Hearing him take a small breath, the young female turned to face him…not expecting the alpha male to do the same thing in unison.

They held each other's gaze for a second, before he gawkily broke the pause, "Um…y-you kinda caught me off guard, back there." He grinned awkwardly

"Yeah, sorry." T flushed.

They smiled maladroitly, prior to looking back to observe the surroundings. Another pause went by, until Nakaki spoke again.

"So," he said, "this is where you live."

"Uh-huh…" She replied, aware he was taking in every single barren, soiled, decaying landmark this place was so gloriously festooned with.

"…I know what it looks like," she began, "but, it beats the other place." Nakaki nodded.

"Everybody mentions you down there. Havana still gripes. Plus the lionesses remember you well." He grinned diffidently.

She giggled coyly; he awkwardly chuckled. They smiled a bit, more confidently, as they continued to watch the landscape.

"You made a good call…leaving." He said.

T glanced at her forepaws, "Seems that way."

"You're happy here aren't you?" He asked, turning his head to look back at her. She did the same.

"Yeah, I like it here a lot. I'm being treated great, but…"

"…But?"

She timidly lowered her eyes. "…There's some things my old clan had, that this place…"

She didn't have to finish—he pressed his head against hers, warmly rubbing her cheek. T smiled, and delicately returned the affection.

Unbeknownst to the happy couple, two certain males observed their actions not far away. One, a spot on his foreleg, crinkled his nose in resentment as he curtly laid his head on his forepaws. The other, also showing enviousness, looked away dejectedly while he leaned against a rock.

* * *

Ed parted from Marini, tenderly laying his head upon hers. He felt her let out a contented sigh, cradling into his neck. The Kenyan male let out a breath as well…feeling strange for some reason. He'd kissed females before, but, with Marini…it felt different. He'd also never bonded as much with them, let alone had a _desire_ to. It was then the ponderous male got it: he was in love.

…So, this is what it was like. After his break up with Abeni he'd almost forgotten how it felt: wonderful. He didn't want to let it go. He wanted it to stay like this. …Soon realizing he wanted _her_ to stay with _him_. Deciding he had some changes to make, right after an apology of course, the once lustful hyena gently took hold of his love to ask if she felt the same…

…Just before his eyes locked on his friends staring at him.

Marini caught his gaze. "What's wrong?" She asked, her tone still dreamy as she brushed against him. Ed, not breaking his gaze from Shenzi or Banzai, slowly turned Marini's head for her to see. She quickly froze in place.

"…This—explains—much." Shenzi tonelessly stated. Banzai silently nodded in agreement.

The western matriarch darted an anxious glance toward the 3rd-in-command. He looked at her…long and hard…and after taking a breath, told her somberly that the female in front of them, was the matriarch of this clan. Her eyes grew large and she immediately turned around.

"Oh! Umm…so _you're_ the one I needed…to talk to." Marini awkwardly said.

Shenzi nodded, "Yeah."

The western matriarch looked away uncomfortably, "Well um-"

"It's fine." Shenzi abruptly told her, "That hunting leader of yours explained everythang. As for your clan, they doin' alright, just…lookin' for you. Word to the wise though—I'd keep those cousins 'a yours under control."

Marini nodded, her eyes on the ground as she anticipated whatever her relatives would've conjured in her absence. "I should go to them then."

Without saying anything else, Shenzi and Banzai turned to leave in the direction they'd come. Ed took a mental sigh, then rose to follow. A grip on his foreleg stopped him in his tracks. The Kenyan male gritted his teeth—not wanting to do this—he knew what she was going to say. About their clans being so far apart, how it was unlikely they'd ever meet again, how her duty as a matriarch came first-

"Ed…" Marini said gently.

His shoulders slumped, but he acknowledged her. It was no surprise to see she was looking at the ground, reluctant to break his heart. Ed knew it would hurt, but did not resurrect any hope to have it hit him harder.

"I…I can't thank you enough for trying to help me. And, I'll always be thankful for it. …But," she sighed faintly, "I've got a lot to do. My job needs serious work; I've already dug myself deep into it on my first try alone. I got separated from my clan, could barely handle a simple migration change even _with_ foreign aid, and from the look of your friend's face I can only imagine what my cousins did while I was gone."

Ed nodded, saying in barely audible gibberish that he understood; being friends with his own matriarch made him aware that a good leader always thought of her clan first. Marini smiled and moved forward to hug him, but he backed away; figuring this goodbye didn't have to be made worse.

She appeared hurt, which almost made him regret his actions; he looked at her softly, and tried to smile, but rethought at the last minute—it wouldn't be real. He heard her take a long breath.

"Ed…even if I keep having an active love life," she looked at him to see the response, "and, I think I might…"

Ed couldn't help but nod ; he'd probably do the same thing only to bury the loss of her once she left. Despite that, he stared at her longingly, she returned the affectionate gaze.

"I could never forget you: I've said that to a lot of males, some I've broken hearts of,"

The lustful hyena remembered the many hearts he'd broken as well—one of which, now with Kamau, still haunted him to this day.

"I…Ed, I-"

Her throat grew a lump, but that was alright; she didn't need to say more. Ed held her close as tears welt in her eyes. She buried her face into his shoulder disc, while he rested his head on hers. He loved her, so, so much; more than anything in life itself.

Not far off, as Shenzi and Banzai were delivering news of western matriarch's arrival, one young male and a certain young female were saying their goodbyes as well…

"Take care of yourself, T." Nakaki brushed his nose on her forehead affectionately.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "You too."

_That evening…_

T and Ed sulked at the mouth of the skull, waiting for the day to end. Shenzi would've been staring at them perplexedly if it hadn't been for the late hour.

What _really_ seemed to be distracting her, was Banzai's intolerable snoring—she kicked him in the ribs as she tried to get comfortable. He grunted slightly, but eventually continued on with his haggard breathing.

T's head rested on the border of the skull's mouth. "Alone again." She said to no one in particular.

Ed nodded, staring at the ash-covered ground, now being obscured by dusk's reflection on mist flowing from the geysers. Hearing a sigh, he saw T straighten her back from the formerly disheartened slump.

"…At least once was better than nothing. Spirits know when we'll meet again." Her tone was matter-of-factly, but not any sadder.

The dejected male gave another nod in agreement; he would miss her so much.

"So was their matriarch nice?" She asked. Instead of nodding a third time, Ed glanced at her solemnly, then back at the darkening horizon.

T understood. "Figures," she smiled softly, "he'd only go on a limb for someone who deserved it." Then for the first time today, she took a good look at her friend, taking in his miserable appearance. A pitiable veneer crossed her face, for only a moment, until a gentler one replaced it. Crinkling a smile—a real, genuine smile—she addressed no one specifically, but her words were, as always, kind.

"Well, I think the wait's more bearable…if you have some pretty great friends to keep you company."

Raising his head, Ed gazed at her warmly, and nodded a final time.


	2. Best Friends, Better Lovers

Ok then, it's a bit rusty, but here's that Shenzi/Banzai chapter I made. I think the plot suits them well, but it's a bit heartbreaking for Valentine's Day. Anyway, if you don't like heartbreaker fics, don't read.

(Thought to self: …Why am I making sad endings for all my romances?)

* * *

"_Alright, now if I set up scout parties here, we should-"_

A scraping sound interrupted her thoughts, continuing on for a moment or so. She gave a silent, annoyed breath. After the nuisance had died down, she resumed concentrating.

"_We should be able to track 'em enough to predict their movements. Abeni and Kamau'll take the left flank, Bongani can get the right. T'll take up the ba-"_

More scratching; she flexed her own claws into the ground in impatience. But retaining composure, she waited until the sickening noise of claws digging through fur to moderately penetrate skin had ended.

A minute or two passed before it did; she twitched her ears, anticipating further interruptions. Then after one more silent moment, let out another sigh and continued arranging the hunt.

"_Ed oughtta scare __anything__ back to us; he'll take the front. Now counting up the party's numbers, the herd's instinctive reflexes, and the time it should take to bring down each kill, we should come back with_-"

Continuous, obnoxious, nonstop scraping breeched her line of concentration. Finally the matriarch couldn't take it anymore; she swerved around to face her deputy.

"Can't you see I'm tryin' to THINK?!" Shenzi growled.

"All I did was scratch my neck!" Banzai yelled right back.

"Chyeah? Well scratch any harder and you'll saw right through it!"

"Stare at the floor anymore and you'll _burn holes_ right through it!"

"I'm thinkin' you moron!"

"Well can't ya knock it off for once?! It's startin' to tick me off!"

"Oh I'm sorry Banzai," she sneered, "I had no idea. From now on I'll stop thinkin' before I do anything; I'll stop figurin' out which herds are easiest to get and I'll stop figurin' how to get to 'em, I'll stop helpin' you or Ed bring down the prey, since that would call for mental ability. Oh, and I'm sorry I get so busy plannin' hunts all day; hunts that keep the clan alive, hunts that get food, hunts that get YOU food, while you sit on your haunches all day to scrape your neck!"

"Maybe you should-!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Came a yell. Stunned, the two could only stare at the normally docile T, on all fours, glowering. Ed was giving them a similar look from behind her. After catching their attention, the young hyena sighed and sat on her haunches.

"Look," she told them, "you're both obviously too wound up to be in the same place with each other. Why don't you try spending some time apart? Banzai can leave to go continue his…scratching, and Shenzi can go elsewhere to plan the hunts."

"If anybody's goin' anywhere," Shenzi began determinedly, "one of us is stayin' right here and the other's long gone!"

"Well it ain't gonna be me!" Banzai firmly stated. She turned to growl menacingly at him. T backed up slightly as Ed turned away; this wouldn't end well…

_A few minutes later…_

How Shenzi lost that fight she'd never be able to comprehend; maybe it had something to do with the lack of meat she'd had yesterday—unlike Banzai who stuffed himself—she must've tired out quicker from being low on fuel. Or she could've been mentally out of it; concentrating on a hunt can really remove focus in combat. Or maybe the environment was working against her; there was no way her _male_ 2nd-in-command would lay a paw on her, so the match was mainly composed of throwing body weight around.

Albeit she did weigh _less_ than Banzai, the main cause of her downfall was skidding on a mound of pebbles, giving him the opportunity to slam into her for the kill. But nonetheless she'd lost; her head hit the ground fair and square, and although she almost believed she'd seen a flicker of regret and even concern in his eyes once it was over, she thought nothing else of the whole predicament and left straight after.

She could still hear them, faintly, as she departed for the "elsewhere" T had mentioned earlier; their voices reverberating inside the skull just barely loud enough for her to decipher.

"Don't worry," T's voice assured someone, most likely _him_, "she'll be back."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He replied.

* * *

Deciding her "elsewhere" would be in the Pridelands—someplace it was easy to find a secluded, peaceful, usually comfortable area to think in—Shenzi walked a few miles into the border, and settled herself underneath a large, broad, somewhat strange-looking tree. She leaned against it with a sigh, too frustrated to think now.

"Lousy males." She muttered, closing her eyes to let the airstream gently ruffle her bangs, tickling her eyelids; yet another small luxury of the Pridelands. It was such a warm breeze, much different from the spine-chilling drafts the Elephant Graveyard offered. A mild, tranquil, soothing…vaguely forceful breeze. The hyena peeled an eye open at noticing the air's sudden change in momentum. The once peaceful wind wafting by now became a powerful gust almost crushing her with its might.

One of the branches shook above her, instinctively driving her into survival mode. Shenzi pressed herself against the tree, between the large roots digging into the earth, and waited for the over-blown draft to pass by. Then, just as quickly as it came, the wind stopped, astounding the defensive hyena. She observed her surroundings, taken aback that there was no serious damage, if any at all. Aware that she herself was just fine as well, the matriarch scowled, climbing from the gap in the roots.

"Now I know the catch to livin' in a place like this. No wonder them lions only let their females hunt—no manes to blow in their faces! Look at my bangs!" She growled. "It's gonna take a week to get 'em back to normal! I don't think this day could get any-"

Just as she spoke that, a large, unknown object, full of some odd, anomalous liquid, fell directly on top of her head.

_Not much earlier…_

"Asante sana, squash banana, we we nugu, mi mi apana." The mandrill chuckled, gleefully adding two more fruits to the inside of half a hollowed-out tortoise shell. He then gathered a few leaves and dropped them in too, next were 3 different powders and an exotic flower growing right on one of the branches. He plunked those ingredients in, combined them all together. Then slowly, delicately, he merged them with his walking stick, stirring the mixture ever so carefully.

"Now for de final touch." He stated, reaching for another leaf, this one growing on one of the branches as well.

"Shaman!" A voice called out.

Rafiki started, causing the shell to tilt. He immediately clutched onto it, keeping its balance intact. It rocked a few times before he managed to get it steady. After fretfully glancing over it to make sure everything was unharmed, he gave a sigh and glared up at Zazu.

"What wrong with you?!" He demanded. "You coulda caused more trouble dan a porcupine up an elephant's nose!"

Zazu, who had flown in unexpectedly, now perched on a nearby limb, wrinkled his bill at the primate. "And just what is more important than being accounted for at _my_ very important, private lecture?!"

"Everyting! But dat not important. You come to be ignored later!" He turned to the shell, retrieving his stick. "I HAVE to put a certain ingredient in dis, or else it will sustain as a powerful-" Before the baboon could say more, a strong gust invaded his tree, making the branches quake. Rafiki himself was roughly thrown off his feet, but after quickly recovering clutched the shell once again; trying his best to withstand the fierce winds rattling his home. Unfortunately, one of the many fruits dangling from the limbs was detached from a vine, and splattered onto the surface which Rafiki stood on. Trying to keep his footing the shaman moved his left leg, only to slip on his back from the mashed pulp.

Much to his horror, he saw the very shell he'd been caring for so charily, fly out of his grasp and right toward the upset majordomo. Zazu gawked before veering out of the way just in time. Rafiki leapt to his feet, but it was already too late—mouth agape, he watched as the shell, concoction and all, disappeared through the canopy branches. Zazu, having landed on a nearby branch, looked at the primate inquisitively.

"Oh no…" The shaman moaned. "Without dat final ingredient, what just fell out of my tree was a _very_ powerful brew. Most unfortunate to the touch, for _any_ crecha."

"Oh my…erm, what does it do?" Zazu asked uneasily.

"It ees a highly effective love poshun!" He announced dramatically. The hornbill, once fairly disconcerted by this predicament, now frowned at the primate and scoffed.

"Love potion? Preposterous! I suppose you're going to tell me whatever animal that could've been drenched in that nonsensical snake oil is going to fall madly in love with the first creature it sees?"

"Of course not!" Rafiki bellowed. "Dat ees just plain nonsense!"

Zazu nodded, "Precisely."

"Dey going to fall in love with de first crecha dey tink about!" The shaman finished.

* * *

Banzai thumped his head against the wall repeatedly, ignoring the slight throbbing in his forehead. _"Idiot!"_ His brain kept shouting. Ever since Shenzi left all he could think about was that stupid fight—how he'd "won" by slinging her to the ground, hearing her skull bang against the stone floor, and then fearfully waiting to see if she'd get back up. Then watching her shakily get to her feet, and leave without another word. It kept playing over and over again in his mind.

"It wasn't your fault." T kept telling him, sporadically raising her voice over the sounds of his cranium making contact to the much larger skull. "Banzai it was an accident!" She shouted, trying to get him to stop.

"Did you hear her head hit that floor?!" He snapped, jerking his head in her direction. The youngest hyena nodded solemnly. "Yes, and she could be sore for quite awhile. But she'll be fine; you _know_ Shenzi, she's taken worse than that."

"Not by me." He looked away disgustedly.

"There's a first time for everything." A serene voice cut in. Puzzled, mainly as to why anybody _here_ could have such a tone, all three hyenas turned to the entrance…to gape almost simultaneously at a smiling Shenzi, who appeared strangely fascinated with something in the back of their home.

T, having the least history with the matriarch, was first to recover and albeit still shaken, she vigilantly spoke up. "Uh…did you finish planning your hunt?"

"Got everything figured out just fine." Her response was to T, but she never took her gaze off Banzai, who began to look uncomfortable.

"Hey, Ed…T," Shenzi's eyes were abnormally soft, and her tone had become most delicate; it made her three companions _very_ uneasy, "could you give me and Banzai…some time alone?"

"DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HER!!!" Banzai immediately shouted, his pleading gaze not lost to his friends. T and Ed exchanged troubled glances; something was clearly not right here, and obviously if they left, Banzai would be in for a world of hurt. But Shenzi was never one to be predictable—was this some kind of ruse, or a twisted mental game of hers to drive them all crazy? They didn't have time to find out.

"Now don't make me repeat myself." Shenzi said, keeping the bizarrely affable voice. And in one move she had the two hyenas securely in her grasp. With barely any effort, she innocuously flung them both outside with ease. Trapped in the back of the cave, Banzai tried to make a hasty retreat, but ended up crushing his back against the wall. Shenzi turned to look at him; a mischievous glint in her eye. Banzai gulped in apprehension.

For some reason, instead of attacking him then and there, Shenzi paused; evidently to observe their surroundings. She put a paw to her chin, taking her time to absorb every detail, and that eerie smile never left her face—to him, it seemed as if she meant to taunt him about his earlier comments of her idle planning, right before she'd use his body to paint the floor.

"Now let's see," she finally spoke, making his stomach clench, "I think there's somethin' wrong with this picture…"

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" Banzai shouted, clearly scared out of his mind. "I get it! I won't hassle ya when you're tryin' to think. **Just knock off the act**!!" He begged.

She crooked a brow, that smile melting into a now inquisitive expression. "Act? What act?"

"THAT act!" He pointed to her eerily soft eyes, her calm face, and her without-threat composure. Even her _bangs_, one of her biggest iniquitous trademarks, seemed tamer. "What're you tryin' to do?! Psych me out!?"

The smile grew back again, bristling his mane. He wondered—what in clan's name was she trying to pull here? His answer came in a chillingly melodious, and yet still matter-of-factly response. "Banzai honey, I'm not doin' nothin'."

He scoffed, "Oh chyeah right—you waltz into the Pridelands for five minutes, then decide you're NOT gonna kill me when you come back."

"Well…" To his perplexity, she moved closer, almost within touching range. "I _did_ have somethin' pretty different in mind."

"Wh-what…what're you doing?" He started to back away, but was reminded of his position when he felt the wall from behind. Then, stunning him completely, Shenzi did something that—if either were here to see—would've surprised T beyond movement and sent Ed into a shock-induced coma; she brushed her lips against his, as if to kiss him. It would've been a fully complete kiss, had Banzai not jumped away—not out of fear, but of pure shock.

"You didn't get a head injury while you were gone, did you?"

She merely smirked at him.

"…Yeah, you did."

"I'm just fine…except for one thang," She admitted, lowering her gaze to her paws. At first Banzai was chary…then inquisitive…then dumbstruck; astounding as it was, the once unassailable matriarch appeared truly disheartened. Over what reason was unknown. Banzai would have been surprised…had she not looked so pitiable.

He couldn't think of anything that could make her this depressed. …_Unless_ something had happened in the Pridelands. And something _had_ to have happened in the Pridelands; she was her usual self before she departed for them. Perhaps she had grown unhappy while she was trying to plan the hunting mission; the Pridelands had abundant food, yet only specific animals could attain this land of heavenly sustenance—hyenas were not among this privileged group. So she was reminded that the same mission she was arranging of was also a poaching. And realizing she was _in_ the same territory she conspired to poach from, only made things worse.

What else could make her act this way?

Or, maybe it wasn't over preparing a successful poach. …Maybe it was over the fight they had. Shenzi was excellent at playing the emotional deception card—she hated showing weakness—instead of being her normal vengeful self when she left, she could've been masking the humiliation of defeat.

But why reveal her true colors now? Was this a ploy to get his guard down, so she could nab him from the underbelly? Or was it a true and legitimate display of, sad, emotions?

He couldn't tell; she _was_ very good at playing the emotional deception card. Wanting to find out—whether coming out of it battered or unharmed—he approached her cautiously. This earned him a wary glance from one of the eyes behind her still soft bangs. Carefully sitting nearby, he asked in a tone as considerately as someone like _him_ could muster.

"What's wrong?"

She slowly lifted her gaze toward him, making direct eye contact. Bit by bit, their faces inched toward each other's…before Shenzi promptly grinned in an almost _predatory_ manner. "You stole somethin' from me."

Banzai blinked in surprise. "Huh?!"

"You heard me."

"N-no I didn't!"

"I know you did." She insisted, prior to touching her nose to his. "It was my heart, y'know."

Banzai's own heart stopped. "W…wha? …You mean?"

She nodded, "Mm-hmm."

That smile, which at one point seemed creepy, now looked…fairly pleasant. And those once fiery orbs, intimidating anything that dared glance into them, that had once been so fierce, even creatures without visual capability could feel their stare on their form; sending a chill through their bodies.

Those eyes, which now held tenderness within them—replaced malice with affection, spite with compassion, and starkness with empathy—looked directly into his. He could felt his chest tightening.

"Isthisaboutthefight?" His scratchily-surprised voice mustered; a dead giveaway for his loss of composure. Shenzi chuckled; their noses still touching, the action sent tingles to Banzai's face, just before she pulled away.

"Mostly, yeah."

Banzai, although still a bit shaken, managed to sigh in half-relief; this needed to end as soon as possible. He retained all sensibility prior to saying, "Well look, I'm so-"

"I'm sorry I was such a diehard. A real matriarch knows how to hold her temper."

"…WHO THE HECK ARE YOU, AND WHAT'VE YOU DONE WITH SHENZI?!" Banzai demanded. Thus ensued a chain of remedies specifically intended to check up on the matriarch's health, emotional status and—most important—sanity.

He felt her head. "Not sick." He concluded, and then lifted one of her forelegs to glance at it. "Doesn't look broken." He sniffed at her. "No trauma." He walked around her, "And not a scratch on-"

She stopped him with an extended foreleg. "I'm fine." She insisted.

Banzai still didn't fully believe it. "How many spots do I have?" He maneuvered himself in a way for her to see a side-view of him. Shenzi rolled her eyes. "If I say I'm gonna hit you, will you stop?"

He stopped.

Any other day, Shenzi wouldn't have thought twice about the success of that age-old method, but this time she looked surprised. Which made her 2nd-in-command tilt his head in puzzlement. "What's wrong? I thought you were back to normal."

She shook her head; disbelieving herself. Had she really been reduced to constantly threatening others with violence if things didn't go her way? Even her own clan members, hunters, and alphas? It was time for a change in technique. "Ban'…I don't _wanna_ hit you. I'm not sick, and I didn't suffer a serious brain injury while I was out. And I'm fine about the fight." She put emphasis on the last sentence, then looked at him somberly. "Why's that so hard to believe?"

He gave her a look. "You're kiddin' right?"

She looked hurt. This time Banzai was skeptical. "Nice try; I'm not fallin' for that again."

She looked at him at full eye-contact; a firm, serious, poised expression on her face. "…You wanna know why I'm not gonna seriously wound you?"

"Because you're gonna do something horrible to me in my sle-?"

"I love you."

He stared. Confirming that he had heard right, Shenzi nodded her head quietly, a miniscule, bashful form of the smile returning. For the first few seconds, Banzai didn't move; not blinking, not shifting his gaze, he didn't even seem to be _breathing_. At the sight of his wide eyes and frozen body, Shenzi began to worry, until much to her relief he brought one of his forelegs up.

He grinned at her, making her chest flutter with hope, until he said, "One sec."

Puzzling her, but at least relieving her that he was talking, she sat back and waited for whatever he planned to do.

She saw him bring the same paw to his opposite foreleg, and jab himself with a claw. He winced, but after unclenching his eyes, looked around the skull. Seeing their environment was unchanged, he looked confused; as did she, but at observing his actions. A moment of observing him however, was all it took to figure out exactly what he must've been thinking.

Seeing that Shenzi remained unchanged as well, this time he paused, before hastily scraping his claws through the same foreleg. He snarled in pain, but realizing nothing had changed, as a last resort, he flung his head to the foreleg and began savagely gnawing away. Shenzi rolled her eyes.

"This ain't a dream." She said over his incessant chewing. He either didn't hear her or didn't believe her.

The situation was getting very ridiculous from Shenzi's point of view, and it seemed unless she did something _quite_ fast, Banzai would be learning to walk on all three; blood was already staining the fur on his right leg. Deducing on what she could do to stop it, it seemed the only way to convince him he wasn't dreaming was to back up some evidence that she really did love him.

…And a kiss was often the way to do that.

Smiling intently, she made not a sound as she moved toward him. Between the biting and the chewing, he didn't seem to notice her approach. The real problem was how to do it without accidentally being bit by her skeptical lover's actions; she'd have to time it just right between bites. Though being a swift, clever matriarch, what better challenge to give a skillfully smitten female?

Just as Banzai parted his jaws to clamp down on his injured leg yet again, a pair of lips suddenly pressed themselves to his cheek, immediately diverting his attention.

To Shenzi's delight, it certainly made him stop biting his leg…to her misfortune, it also caused _all_ his regular functions to cease. He stayed frozen in place for quite awhile, not even acknowledging the blood dripping down his leg. She began shouting his name to snap him out of it, though it wasn't until the tenth time in a row that he somewhat recovered.

"BANZAI!"

His mental mechanisms started working first; just enough for him to comprehend what she had done. Once he found that out, he slowly turned his head toward her.

She smiled again, and repeated, "It ain't a dream, hun."

Banzai couldn't believe it: Shenzi was forgiving him not even one hour after a spat, was clearly _not_ in a passive-aggressive temperament about it, and she was in love with him! All his dreams were coming true! There could've been only one logical explanation…

Something was horribly wrong.

_The next morning…_

Judging by the daylight pouring from the entrance of the skull and onto his eyelids, Banzai realized he must've dropped out of consciousness sometime yesterday afternoon. Exactly what for he had trouble remembering…but got a good reminder at something gently stroking the underside of his neck. He twisted his head right to see Shenzi curled up next to him.

She smiled, "Mornin'."

He bolted to his feet.

"What's wrong, honey? You look like you just ate rotten meat."

He was about to yell something provocative from shock, until memories of yesterday quickly flooded into his conscious, saying there was nothing to be alarmed of. In no time, he calmed down and smiled at his love, who returned the gesture.

It took awhile for him to notice it was just the two of them, and it made him ponder—oh right, Ed and T were still gone. …Where could they've stayed for the whole night? Ah well, he didn't care; with a shrug he focused back on Shenzi, who got to all fours.

"How's the leg?" She asked, stretching a bit. He blinked in confusion, before looking down and realizing what she meant.

"…Aw, I've had worse." It was a true statement, but the sight of the bad injury still worried him, albeit most of it was clotted over by now. So focused on the wound, he didn't notice Shenzi sneaking over to right beside him; only when she rubbed up against his body did he notice her presence.

"Well that's no good," she said, "Wouldn't want anything _real_ bad to happen to you. It could ruin a lotta…pleasant things."

He raised a brow, an impish grin beginning to sprout onto his maw. "Really? Like what?"

"Eh, nothin' special." At first it just seemed like psychological teasing, but when she playfully tugged on his ear, _that's_ when Banzai grew enthusiastic. He looked over, expecting to see her right next to him, but to his surprise she was halfway to the entrance of the skull. She grinned.

"But if you wanna find out, you're gonna hafta stop me from leaving." The flicker in his eye not lost to her, she moved in position as if to take off, smirking teasingly. "So how 'bout it? Think you can catch me?"

"You know I can!" Taking the bait, he immediately gave chase. It wasn't a full-out charge to the exit, but from Banzai's point of view, it still seemed they were going pretty fast; though that didn't stop him from cutting her off mere inches before she breached the skull.

Before she had time to escape, it was Banzai's turn to surprise _her_. He lunged at the female and pinned her back to the ground, good-humoredly of course. The matriarch struggled, but he held her paws in a way that prevented her from hitting him; a tactic he'd normally use in a combat situation, but a much more tender alteration.

He grinned, leaning down to her ear. Shenzi felt him giving it a small tug of his own, before saying, "Can't leave now, can ya?"

That quirky look on her face seemed to tell otherwise, and in one move she had him pushed off using her back legs. Though just because it got him off didn't mean it flung him away, in the time it took her to get up he had her down on her stomach when she tried to flee once more.

"Not so easy out-runnin' the 2nd command, huh?"

"Who said I needed to out-run 'im to leave?" In the next second, Banzai felt his own back to the floor, Shenzi gazing down at him victoriously. The male stared; frankly, surprised that he'd forgotten how strong she was. In fact, it was almost uncanny he'd even impeded her _this_ far. …That's when it hit him—she wasn't any lower on energy than she was in general; she was playing him! She wanted to humor them with this game. She liked that they were chasing each other.

And she liked that he caught her…

After the momentary revelation passed, Banzai looked up at the triumphant female and smirked; well, if she found this so pleasant, why end it now? Besides, he was starting to find it enjoyable as well. With a cackle, he said, "Alright, so you pinned me, doesn't mean ya won." That grin of his made her both puzzled and skeptical.

"Uh-huh; I ain't the one with my back to the floor."

"See, that's the thing; you don't got me, 'cause…I GOT YOU!"

Letting out a yelp of surprise, Shenzi felt Banzai's strong forearms rapidly put themselves around her, rolling both hyenas to their sides as he pulled her close. Now locked within a determined hyena's grip, as well as pinned on her side, Shenzi looked at Banzai's face…which was very close to hers. If not for that triumphant smile he had on, she would've been too lost in his eyes to speak. But that smile of his…it made her head rush for reasons unknown. After a moment of composing herself, the matriarch chortled in defeat. "Ok, you got me."

Banzai smirked wider, and—not only surprising her again, but causing her heart to implode—slowly licked her cheek. "I didn't get to tell ya this yesterday but…I love you too."

She watched the formerly exultant smile melt into one of warmth and affection. Allowing herself to be lost this time, she brushed his mane with her paw, talking softly. "We should do this more often."

Then Shenzi felt one of his paws moving to the back of her neck, gradually pushing her forward to move her head closer. At first she was confused…then realized what was happening; letting that new smile of her own return to her countenance, she moved with his paw to kiss him…just before their abdomens growled.

Pausing, their maws a breath apart, they held still a moment. Another grumbling sound emitted from one of their stomachs, but they were too close to tell exactly whose it was. Admitting her second defeat for the afternoon—that had to be a personal record—Shenzi slipped out of Banzai's grasp and lay beside him.

Remembering it'd been days since they'd had one of their infamously awful excuses for a meal, she realized moments like this—and ones that could get even better—wouldn't happen a lot without a little sustenance every now an then. She made eye contact with her love. "You remember the last time we ate?"

He turned over to get better vision of her, "Why?" Evidently, Shenzi surpassed his love for food.

"Ain't you hungry? I bet there's wildebeest out by now."

"So?" Even the love for his _favorite_ food.

She laughed. "I could stay here as much as you could, but we won't last that long if we're always hungry."

"I'm hungry alright." He wriggled his brow suggestively. She jokingly pushed him away. "Timing is everything; so the sooner you get back with food, the sooner we can…get back where we started."

Banzai stared. "…On second thought, think as much as you want; floors with holes sound pretty sweet."

Shenzi chuckled again. "I'll be thinkin' of you the whole time you're out."

Banzai smirked and got to all fours, walked out to the exit of the skull, just before looking back and grinning, "Won't be long."

She winked, telling him it'd be a _very_ good idea to get back to the skull as soon as possible.

* * *

The sun was beating down harshly on the long-winded plains, the herds were thinning everywhere one looked, and there were more lions crawling in sight than insects—Banzai thought it was a spectacular day to be in the Pridelands!

A spring in his step, if any Graveyarder could see him now their jaws would drop at the sight of this oddly optimistic stranger—then realize it was Banzai and die of shock. Strolling by a grassy hummock, the buoyant male turned his head at the tranquil scene of a medium-sized wildebeest herd peacefully grazing…far away from one of their crippled offspring.

Subtly making his way in that direction, he must've had his mind too far up in the clouds to see where he was going. Fortunately a kind bystander brought him back to earth, by unexpectedly crashing into him.

Banzai was almost knocked off his feet, unlike T, who thumped into Ed, who'd been standing behind her. The 2nd-in-command shook off the unexpected collision, but once he saw exactly who he bumped into in the Pridelands, it certainly brought him out of the reverie.

And needless to say, the pair was surprised to see _him_ in one piece.

"What're you doin' here?!" He and T shouted in unison, right before Banzai caught a familiar scent in the air. Sniffing a few times just to make sure, his suspicions were immediately confirmed. At first, his instinct was to duck in cover, and he pulled the other two down to the ground.

"Don't move!" Cautiously raising his head just above the grass tips, _very_ carefully, he turned to see if there were any threats about, putting his companions on guard.

Suddenly, that scent caught him again, this time closer. His mane bristling, he realized there could've been a very good chance they had to fight for their lives. But he didn't want it to come to that—particularly since T didn't seem like the most threatening type, and without Shenzi, he and Ed would only be able to bide enough time for a shot at retreat. Seeing as there wasn't much of a choice though, he pulled T close and whispered quietly.

"Ok listen-"

Though just as he began giving her orders on how to combat their potential attackers, a waft of that scent caught his nose, closer than ever. …In fact, _too_ close; there was no way he could've detected a lioness at this distance without pressing noses with her by now. He raised his head once again to survey their surroundings, now extremely puzzled. T and Ed rose themselves from the ground too, though not as mistrustful as he was.

"Somethin' wrong?" T asked.

"I keep feelin' like we're be-" He sniffed, realizing _this_ waft was complete potency, leading him to its exact location. He sniffed again, keeping it up until his nose was pressed into the finally discovered source of lioness scent—T's bangs. Banzai pulled away in surprise.

"You two smell like _lions_!" He shouted. T smiled while Ed cringed in embarrassment.

"I called Nala in on a favor; she let the lionesses give us a den for the night. …We have to stop poaching more than twice a week now." She admitted, before getting a startled look on her face, and turning her gaze directly at him. As if reading her mind, Ed did the same thing. Banzai was perplexed as to why the two hyenas were staring at him, until T said,

"…You're still in one piece?" Then she noticed his leg. Ed followed her gaze, then made a hiss as he cringed away; T's eyes widened. "Whoa, I guess not."

Banzai followed their stares, and had to chuckle once realizing what she meant, "Oh, that. Yeah, funny story-"

"OUTTA DE WAY!!" The three were knocked aside by some crazy two-legged creature as it scrambled to get past them. T got up and rubbed her head while Ed shook it off. Banzai however, had a mind to yell a few obscenities in the animal's direction, but instead shouted,

"Hey, watch where you're goin'!"

The creature, who turned out to be the Pridelands' shaman, glanced back at the hyenas.

"I got no time for you tree hyenas!"

"Tree hyenas?" T tilted her head.

"Tree, tree! Dat's what I said. Dere tree of you!"

"Uh…if you say so." She complied.

"What's the idea knockin' into us like that?! I oughtta come over there and knock _you_ around!"

"Happy to crush your skull latah, but right now Rafiki got an emergency!"

"What's the matter—kingy need a diaper change?"

"I need to see matriarch!"

All stared at him, grunting in unison. "…Wha?"

"She in bad shape, I need to fix it right away!"

"Wait a minute," T began as the group started walking toward him, "what's wrong with 'er?"

"Poshun fell on her from Rafiki's tree, so I must cure her before all havoc breaks loose!"

"What's it do?" T asked him.

"No time to explain!" He started to hasten away another time, before unexpectedly meeting Banzai nose-to-nose as he turned to leave.

"You wanna see her, you gotta see us." He told him unwaveringly. Rafiki paused, taking a good look at the hyena…before striking him firmly with his infamous stick. Banzai cursed, his forelegs darting upward to his cranium.

"Annoying male—you wasting my time! I have to give antidote for dat love poshun!"

"Love potion?" Ed and T chorused.

"You're crazy." Banzai rubbed his aching head.

"I not de one in love against my will! Rafiki make other poshun to tell me which animal was controlled by it, she shows up in de concoction. De bigger problem is finding de one she in love with so he can give her antidote; is only way to break de spell."

Banzai stared. T furrowed her brow in puzzlement as Ed scratched at a flea. "Banzai, what's he talking about?" The 2nd-in-command heard her say. Ignoring her, he took a better look at the shaman.

"…You think she's under a potion?"

"Rafiki don't tink, he know! Now unless you can tell me who she in love with, I be on my way!"

He pushed past Banzai, and the three watched him depart for the Elephant Graveyard, an eerie silence left to keep them company.

"…That was weird." T stated after a moment. Ed nodded then just started licking his paw. Banzai however, was completely speechless. He kept staring after the primate, without another word spoken. Concerned, T prodded him on the shoulder.

"Hey."

Amazed that such a small nudge could make Banzai leap out of his skin like that, T and Ed jumped away as he sprung up in surprise. The two stayed over to the side for a moment, while Banzai seemed to be catching his breath. When he appeared calm again, the youngest of the three continued.

"You ok?"

"Uh, yeah." He said after a pause. Then much like his usual self, he turned to the pair, chuckling, "But maybe that guy should stop hangin' upside down so much."

"I guess so." T replied, still unsure of his behavior.

Banzai scoffed, "Eh, probably doesn't even know what he's talkin' about; bet he can't even tell between a matriarch and a monkey."

"…So, you're _sure_ you're ok?" She asked him. He waved his paw in dismissal.

"Eh, I'm fine; I just dropped by this place for some grub. I'm gonna head back now."

"…Ok, see ya back at the skull."

Keeping the relaxed grin, Banzai waited until Ed and T ventured far enough away to disappear on the opposite side of the hummock…

Then ran like a madman straight after that monkey.

"_It can't be true…"_ He kept saying in his mind, over and over again. _"It can't be…"_

"Hey, wait up!" A voice called behind Rafiki. The baboon turned to see that quick-tempered hyena he'd previously encountered following him.

"What you want now?" He demanded as Banzai finally caught up, panting slightly.

"You…you're _really_ sure it's a…love potion?" The hyena asked between gasps.

"Yes!" The primate replied, now visibly irritated.

"And…you think it fell on _her_?"

"How many times Rafiki gotta say it?! The potion never lies—it reveal which animal underneath dat spell and it show me her. Yestahday she musta been in the Pridelands, stood under my tree and den de shell fall on her, and now she hottah dan Graveyard-geysers for some male I must also find. If it were any other poshun I wouldn't bada and let it get dat female for trespassing, but dis is different! Everybody know dat matriarch will mate with a male right aftah she raises a lion. Now I must restore de Kenyan matriarch to her former terrorizing, male-bashing glory. _Den_ I gotta find de poor sap she crazy-like-coconuts for. Now, why you follow me?"

Banzai couldn't believe it; the connections between the situations were too uncanny to be coincidental—Shenzi leaves for the Pridelands, vicious and normal, then she comes back sometime later, and can barely stand being two feet from him! But something still didn't make sense here.

"Wait a minute, don't these things usually work out like she'll fall in love with the first dude she sees?"

Rafiki rolled his eyes, "Why everybody tink dat? No you silly ting! She fall in love with first male she _tink_ of!"

So it _was_ the fight on her mind when she left. That explained a lot. Banzai chewed this over for what seemed like a long, long time. Then, after realizing they couldn't be merely coincidental, gave a great sigh. Much as he had trouble telling the shaman this, the larger problem…was admitting it to himself. He looked the baboon in the eye. "Hey uh, listen man…I think I'm the guy you're lookin' for."

Rafiki tilted his head. "What you mean?"

"You said you dropped it out of the tree yesterday?"

"Well, dat was de majordomo's fault, but yes it fall dat day."

"Well, uh…she kinda went into the Pridelands to think awhile. And before she left, she was…normal, and when she came back…" He trailed off.

"What make you tink _you_ de one?"

Banzai gave him a look, "Just trust me on this."

Rafiki stared at him a long time, stroking his beard continuously. He seemed to be thinking, while at the same time giving the hyena a once-over. After a long moment, an animated smile crossed his face, just as a vibrant laugh came out. Banzai tilted his head in confusion at seeing the monkey hold his sides. "…See now I _know _she must be afflicted by poshun; she'd _have_ to, to look at you!"

Banzai scowled, but successfully kept himself from sinking teeth into the tittering shaman. "Yeah, thanks. Anyway, even if she is under a spell or whatever, how you gonna fix her?"

Rafiki calmed and took a gourd off of his walking stick, though this one was quite abnormal from the two other ones he usually carried; this one was a mixture of gray and yellow, and it sparkled every which way you turned it. Banzai assumed it had to be pretty flimsy, from the way that monkey delicately, painstakingly, tried to remove it. That made the hyena uneasy; if he himself was supposed to handle that thing, how could someone so coarse as him do so without mashing it at the touch?

But willing to try if it was for Shenzi's sake, he open his mouth to let the shaman set it in. Rafiki gave him a astounded look, making him wonder if his hard-core reputation was that widely known.

"You _sure_ you want to do that?" The shaman asked, looking uncomfortable. Still open-mouthed, Banzai nodded, flattening his tongue to cradle the supposedly fragile fruit. The primate stared for a moment, before giving a shrug, and with a, "Suit youself," placed the gourd inside his mouth.

Banzai immediately found out why it was so sparkly, as to why the baboon seemed uneasy to remove it; all that glint was caused by the sun reflecting off all the barb tips jetting from the inside the pulp. In not even a second he gagged it back up, making Rafiki laugh. It fell to the ground but remained intact; apparently not as fragile as the hyena thought.

"Why didn't you SAY it was gonna gouge my mouth?!" Banzai growled.

"Nevah asked." He replied, tenderly picking up the gourd again. "Now, dis have everyting you need to break de spell. All you gotta do is get de juice inside here, on her. She should be cured in no time. …Howevah, dere is a slight chance she will remembah everyting dat happened while she was afflicted. In de event dat you ever took advantage of her-"

"I didn't know she was under a SPELL!" Banzai retorted.

"In de case," Rafiki went on, "_or_ if she experiences the horrible side affect, which will temporarily make her cannibal for her former lovah—I suggest you run."

Finished explaining, the shaman held out the gourd. Banzai nearly pricked his paw trying to grab it, claws-only. "Ow!" He jerked back. Rafiki took another gourd off his stick, broke it in two and let the juices run out, then enclosed the second gourd between the halves.

"Why's it so pointy?" Banzai asked before taking the makeshift case in his mouth.

"Love hurts!" The shaman responded, right before taking note Banzai's leg and chuckling. "And dat's de most violent love-bite I evah seen. Hahaha!!"

* * *

Banzai solemnly approached the skull, dreading every inch that brought him closer to the oblivious Shenzi—utterly clueless to realizing her emotions were forced. He did everything to take his time before getting there, so when he finally reached his home it was almost dark. He took note of some ominous figure pacing the floors, most likely Shenzi waiting for him.

When she caught him at the entrance her face lit up, prior to furrowing her brow at what was in his mouth.

"…I didn't know we were goin' herbivore tonight."

He placed the gourd at his feet and took another deep breath, then looked at her soberly and said, "We need to talk."

_A few minutes later…_

"Ban', we're in the middle of nowhere." Shenzi stated, following him through a particularly secluded area of the Graveyard, having been made so by the bones upon bones stacked high in piles and tightly-packed masses. Banzai waited until they were safely behind a curved rock ledge before deciding to speak. He laid the gourd down again and looked at her sadly.

That expression of his worrying her, Shenzi furrowed her brows in unease, "Just tell me what's goin' on. By the time we make it back home Ed n' T'll be worried sick."

Banzai took a deep breath, then looked her straight in the eye. "Look, Shenzi, what you're feelin'…it ain't real."

Not quite comprehending, she asked, "Whadda you mean?"

He nudged the gourd with his paw absentmindedly. "What happened…in the Pridelands…the monkey dropped some kinda potion on you and…well, it _made_ you get the hots for me." He bluntly finished.

She looked at him a long time, to confirm she'd heard right, he gave a silent nod. They stared for a moment, until, surprising him, she bent over in laughter. "That's what you dragged me here for?" This continued for a few more seconds, until she calmed herself, then brought her gaze up to him.

"Banzai, you think I don't know what goes on in my own head? I _always_ felt like this about you."

He was stunned. "Y…you _did_?"

"Yeah, but you seen how hard matriarchal duties get in the way of a real personal life—business eats out pleasure. I know I only came out about my feelings because of that shaman's slip-up, but now that I've seen that I can run a clan and have you…I love that this happened." She smiled tenderly at him. Banzai couldn't believe his ears.

She kept smiling, then noticed the gourd. "What is that anyway?"

Realizing she was glancing at his feet, he looked down and quickly recollected what he came to do here in the first place at the sight of that antidote. "Oh! Um…uh, it was supposed to bring you out of the spell." He explained.

"Oh." Shenzi shrugged. "Throw that thang into the waterhole."

Banzai stared at her for a long, long while—in all the time he'd known her, nothing had made him happier than the thought of being with Shenzi forever. Even if they remained in the graveyard for the rest of their lives he'd gladly tolerate it if every second was spent with her. His affection had grown from care as pups, to devotion as teenagers, to actual love as adults. He'd cared for her so long…he feared if he'd ever get the chance to expose how he felt; until the discovery of that love potion it seemed that problem had quickly dissolved.

Then he looked at the gourd; the only thing standing between him and a happy life with Shenzi.

…No, it wasn't the gourd; it was the possibility that this was false infatuation. Maybe she did really feel that way about him, even without the potion; maybe when he gave her the antidote all it would do is get her drenched, and unlike the pummeling he would've gotten before she'd laugh it off so they could return to the skull. Then possibly announce their relationship to the rest of the clan—he could imagine the look on their faces, particularly Ed's, who had known them the longest.

But there could always be a chance that that same explanation she gave for _always_ loving him, could be the ill-effects of the affliction. And to put her through some forced infatuation for the rest of her life, would've hurt Banzai more then any normal-Shenzi-given beating. Her best interest was all he ever cared about, and if it didn't involve him then…it was her best interest.

He had to know for sure. Quick as lightning he sliced open the gourd with his claws and knocked it in Shenzi's direction, pouring its juices onto her face. He then watched like a hawk to see what would happen. At first she was startled, in reaction to the cool liquid, but regained composure and shook herself dry. Banzai held with bated breath.

…After a minute, Shenzi turned to look at him, that same smile still on her face. Banzai felt a flicker of hope.

"Banzai baby, it didn't do nothin'. I still think you…" She paused. He moved forward, waiting for her to finish. "Yeah?"

"STICK WORSE THAN A WARTHOG!" She yelled, her maw wrinkling in disgust, the female abruptly moving away from him to cover her nose. Upon picking up its scent in the air, Banzai realized that fruit did smell indeed disgusting. She started coughing, "Did you eat rotten wildebeest again?! Your breath's killin' me!"

Banzai's eyes enlarged as she began to insult him, but eventually gave a sigh of relief…then remembered the monkey mentioning side effects and quickly braced himself as he got to all fours. Once Shenzi stopped coughing, she paused for a moment, then slowly turned her head to give him this strange look. The male gulped—so she _did_ remember.

To some extent…

"Dang, you wouldn't believe the dream I just had!" She said.

Banzai confusingly took this in, then—still remaining cautious—sat up as he furrowed his brow. "Dream?"

"Yeah, I dreamt I fell in love with you!" Seeming wholly amazed at even _dreaming_ of it, made Banzai decide it'd be best to neglect telling her of its actuality—that, and what she might do if she did know. What she said next however, tore at him more than even the rage-induced assault she would've bestowed upon him if she realized the facts.

"We even kissed! Ain't that crazy?" Snickering from the craziness of her supposed "dream", Shenzi walked off into the vicinity of the Elephant Graveyard.

Banzai stared after her, watching until she had disappeared past a mound of bones, and even afterwards. He didn't know how long he sat there—it could've been forever and wouldn't have cared—he just stayed in that spot, watching the place where she'd left. There was nothing to wait for, and his legs didn't feel like working again, but it wouldn't bother him.

Despite having sat there for at least an hour, somehow he re-emerged into consciousness, recalling those same words she spoke before she'd gone.

And as if replying to her question said, "…Insane…"

_A few minutes later…_

He began to walk off somewhere, he didn't know exactly. But whatever place he was searching for home must've been more important to his subconscious, because that's where it led him. Glancing up, he could see T sitting by the entrance of the cave, appearing to talk to…Shenzi. And Ed was out like a light in the back.

Taking another heavy breath, he began walking towards the skull…before he nearly had a heart attack—much like anyone else in earshot—when he heard an abrupt scream coming from there.

"WHAT?! WE CAN'T POACH MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK?! **WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO, T**!?"

_That evening…_

Banzai pitied T—she was more scared than anything, but seeing Shenzi raise a paw to you was enough to make any animal flinch. Shenzi must've pitied her too, for at seeing the younger female cringe away in fear, she retained composure and lowered her foreleg at the last minute. T _would_ however be feeling the affects of her deal with Nala, soon; of that Banzai was sure.

He glanced at the opposite end of the skull to see the youngest of them fast asleep. Gazing up at the position of the moon, he figured he probably needed to get to bed himself, but he didn't feel tired …or anything else.

His ear twitching as he picked up a noise from the exit of the skull, he saw Shenzi tetchily walk in, a plump haunch in her mouth. Showing no other facial expression, he simply raised a brow.

"What're you doing?"

She let the haunch fall to the ground. "What's it look like? Thanks to Lil' Miss Tender-Paws, queeny's gonna be cashin' in on that deal real soon. I'm gettin' while the gettin's good."

Banzai took a good look at the haunch, then both his bushy eyebrows rose in surprise. "…Wildebeest?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah help yourself." She waved it off, prior to shooting him a warning glance. "Just leave some for us."

He shrugged. "We could split it."

She almost held back a laugh, "You sharin' _wildebeest_?"

The 2nd-in-command looked off to the side, pondering something…he was willing to tell her, but should he really be so bold to do so? …He figured. Looking back at her, he tried everything to make it seem he wasn't making a big deal out of it, even shrugging again, but from Banzai—when it came to wildebeest—it was always a shocker to hear him say, "I'll share it with you."

She started. "Huh?"

"You're hungry, right? Ya hunted it down; get a bite."

Shenzi almost gaped at him, before narrowing her eyes in suspicion, "What'd you do?"

"Nothin'." He insisted, shoving the meal towards her. The matriarch kept her questioning eye on him, though eventually settled on opposite side of the haunch.

"Alright, but if I find out about anything latah-"

"Wouldja just eat?"

She scowled, but couldn't ignore the emptiness of her stomach. Holding it in place with her claws she dug in to savor the meal. Banzai mostly glanced at it, taking a nibble or two to qualm Shenzi's suspicions; true it was his favorite meat but he didn't have an appetite at the moment.

After boringly glancing around the skull and at Shenzi, a recent event suddenly popped back into his mind; just as he bolted up in revelation. His hasty action was not lost to his matriarch, who presumed she at last found the reason of his abnormal behavior.

"I KNEW it!" She proclaimed, getting to all fours smoothly but just as quick. "You _did_ do somethin'! What'd you n' Ed do this time?!" She demanded, moving around the carcass to get to him.

Very peculiar to her, he didn't appear frightened of her advances; in fact, much more to her perplexity, he looked at her with a solemn look.

"…Shenz'?"

Realizing he expected her to answer, she bluntly replied, "What?"

"Uh…sorry 'bout buggin' ya earlier; it was just your job, won't happen again."

She couldn't take her wide eyes away from him, and after a moment, to Banzai's _extreme_ surprise, tilted her head slightly, a genuine look of concern on her face. "…You feelin' ok?"

That motion of actual care for his well-being, made him wonder…_was_ the loving Shenzi in there somewhere? Feeling a bit better now, he smiled at her kindly, replying,

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Only then did he notice how close their muzzles were. He glanced up to see if Shenzi realized; she did. For awhile, the two held eye contact for a moment…

"…Banzai?" Shenzi finally said.

"Yeah?" He could feel the glint of hope returning already. Just as he was preparing to lean in closer…

"You _really_ need a mint."

His jaw dropped, completely bug-eyed. Shenzi paid no heed and blatantly finished her meal.


	3. The Judgement of Nuka

The Judgement of Paris/Lion King crossover version by me! But unless you've read or at least know the plot of "The Judgement of Paris", you won't have the slightest idea what I'm writing about. Oh, and a warning: NUKA/T fluff. Don't like, don't read.

The update you're about to read is just something I made for fun, the two chapters before were genuine to my actual storyline, but this is only for laughs. This takes place sometime after "Not another Lion King Story". Wonder what a fic would be like if The Lion King was crossed over with The Judgment of Paris?

Warning: Unless you've read or at least know the plot of "The Judgement of Paris", you won't have the slightest idea what I'm writing about. That is, unless I explain the plot for you;

_**Plot of story-**_ The king of the lions (gods) throws a big party. But Zira (Eris) is uninvited. In a fit of rage she brings down an appetizing carcass (apple), which she says can only be devoured by the most beautiful female predator. Eventually, Shenzi, Nala, and Sarabi (Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera) get into a fight over who is the most beautiful of the three of them. They ask the king (Simba) to decide, but he prefers not to get in the middle. Instead, his advisor (Timon) suggests they go ask a commoner to decide for them. (In the story the king actually suggests that but I didn't want Simba to look OOC so I made Timon do it)

The three females eventually come upon a young male named Nuka, and ask him to decide. At first he's surprised…then intrigued when they start offering him gifts. At the mention of Shenzi's gift, Nuka picks her. And let the chaos ensue…

**The Judgment of Nuka:**

**Cast****:**

**Paris (main male character)- Nuka**

**Helen (main girl character)- T**

**Eris (goddess of chaos)- Zira**

**Aphrodite (goddess of beauty)- Shenzi**

**Athena (goddess of wisdom)- Nala **

**Zeus (king of gods)- Simba**

**Hera (queen of gods/goddesses)- Sarabi**

**Menelaus (Helen's husband)- Some males in Shenzi's clan with fondness for T**

* * *

"_Whyyyyyyyyyy?_" Came a whine so great, all the flora in the Serengeti could've withered.

"Ugh!" Was the reply. In a more verdant area inside of the Pridelands, just past the waterhole, two rival carnivores were seen having a spat. Not a typical quarrel between a young lion and, a slightly older but still young, female hyena though. Albeit he did pursue her the minute they first locked eyes, there was no grudge; he gave it all the strength he had to keep on her as she fled away to the Elephant Graveyard, but harm was not the intent; and she, the one trying to lose him in the midst of her wasteland home, could have injured him plenty of times to get the message across that she wanted to be left alone, yet she did not. She did however, after an agonizing chase, whirl around to face the lion, who barely had enough time to screech to a halt. Their noses pressed against one another's, he tried to placate her with a coy, toothy smile; her maw wrinkled in disgust. The reason why these two ordinarily rivaled predators were even seen together…

"I will tell you why I won't go out with you Nuka,"

These two, were having a love spat.

"Aside from being a whole different species from me, you're clingy, cowardly, three years younger than me, which you **lied** about-"

"It was only by a year; when your love is 19, 17 seems to have more of a chance than 16. I thought you wanted someone mature!" He retorted, before scratching impishly at a flea, chasing it up his foreleg until it jumped to a spot on his disc—T lowered her eyelids at the sight of him trying to reach said location, by futilely trying bite at it, only to moan every time he bit air.

"You're also way too fixated on gaining favor from your _mom_ and a guy who was _dead_," she went on, "sort of a pessimist, and for some reason you're obsessed with lighting fires. And lastly; you squeal like a girl!"

"I do not!!" Replied the adolescent lion…just before a geyser went off underneath his tail. The girlish screams that followed would've made nightingales envious, had they not come in contact with the unnaturally airborne creature which was making them as it leapt about ten feet in the air

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" While the unfortunate lion screamed out of pain, T rolled her eyes and instead of taking off from him again, simply walked away from the pitiable situation.

Eventually he did fall back to earth, and with his tail still smoldering his eyes searched the grounds for his beloved Tana, but the fact soon soaked in that the female hyena was long gone. Still, in all his persistence and tenacity, he blew away the remaining burnt hairs from his tail, and was rapidly trailing after her again. "Tana! Tana wait! Tana! …Er, Tan'? No wait…T! Yeah, T! I remembered it!"

_That evening…_

"Yeowch!"

Every step repeating today's painful last attempt at receiving T's attention—following her into a chasm he'd never been in, how was he to know which cracks were methane vents?—Nuka hissed in agony as he struggled to get to the place he slept, just far enough from the Elephant Graveyard to be within the sanctity of the Pridelands, but close enough to see T whenever she emerged from her desolate home to get breakfast.

Growling in reaction as his claw nearly punctured a sensitive blister, he tried to curl up and heal for the night.

* * *

_The next day…_

Zazu perched in front of Simba at the entrance of the den at Priderock. All the lionesses, Nala included, had departed for a hunt, so the two saw no better time to finish planning a secretive celebration for the whole kingdom.

"All preparations have been made, sire. The Prideland festivities should be well under way." Zazu announced.

"Great." Simba smiled. "All we have to do now is invite everybody."

The hornbill looked away uncomfortably; from the king's tone, he could tell when he said everybody he meant everybody. "Er, sire, before we begin this event, are you sure you want to invite…" He trailed off, flying up to whisper into the lion's ear. Simba glanced at him in a diligent manner, "Zazu, they paid their debt fair and square. So if they can agree to only eat what's served at the party, they can stay."

The majordomo groaned, taking flight out of the den. "Very well. But I do wish we didn't have to integrate ourselves with hyenas."

_That afternoon…_

"So lemme get this straight," Shenzi elaborated, "he wants us, _all_ of us, to come to Priderock for a party?"

"Correct." Zazu muttered almost regretfully, perched atop a tusk to avoid any possible attacks.

"The occasion being…?"

"Just because." He told them, just as begrudgedly. Rubbing her chin in consideration, the matriarch turned to her three companions. "Whadda you think?"

"Sounds like fun." T smiled.

"There gonna be free food?" Banzai asked. Judging by the anxious body language after his friend's question, Ed wanted to know the same thing.

"On the grounds that you eat _only what's served_ at the festivity, the king will permit all of you to feast as any other guests would—and _no_ illegal hunting. The lionesses have taken care of everything, so it won't be required anyhow."

The three lesser-in-rank hyenas glanced at their matriarch for her final judgment. Shenzi pondered a moment, oblivious to the way Zazu fearfully reacted as she tapped her claws in thought.

"…Eh, what the heck. We'll be over in an hour." She decided. Ed laughed in excitement, while T looked up at the majordomo.

"Should we bring something?" The youngest of the quartet asked.

Zazu carefully took notice of their surroundings, and _firmly_ replied, "No."

* * *

"Simba," Nala began, stretching her faintly sore muscles, "I know our pride has mouths to feed but, we've hunted nearly triple what we need for a week!"

"Yes dear," Sarabi gently added, "the parties can only do so much."

The three of them were trying to wind down in Priderock's largest den. Behind them, other Pridelanders, mostly hunting party lionesses, were trying to relax and rest off yet another long and extended—though successful—hunt. For the past week King Simba had been asking the party to bring back as much prey without doing any damage to the delicate Circle of Life as possible. It was a request, not an order, and anyone who saw it fruitless could discontinue hunting the minute the party had enough for the pride.

But, like all the Pridelanders, the lionesses had gained utmost respect for their king and obliged to what he asked for; believing it must've served _some_ purpose. And as of this very moment, their king was about to reveal precisely what.

With a smile, Simba announced, "Well, there's a good reason for that."

"What?" The present and former lion queens asked. Sarabi watched her son leaned to his wife and whispered something in her ear…

"A party!?" Nala exclaimed, nearly jumping out of surprise and enthusiasm.

"A party?!" The rest of the lionesses echoed.

"Every good king knows when to be generous to his subjects. And I know that if anybody deserves this more than anyone, it's all of you. Without your hard work this wouldn't be possible…well, it would, but not nearly be as much fun." He chuckled. "So think of it as my reward."

There was praise and excitement echoing all throughout Priderock. All the lionesses were chattering hysterically.

"Who should we tell?!"

"Who _is_ there to tell?"

"Everyone's been informed," Simba stepped in, "Zazu should be coming back from inviting guests any minute now."

"You were planning this the whole time?" Nala asked.

"The whole time." He nodded.

"Who's invited?" Inala asked.

"Everyone." The king plainly answered.

"Everyone who?" Another lioness asked.

"Anyone who can make it—Pridelanders, Timon, Pumbaa, the grazers, the scavengers, the hyenas-"

"THE HYENAS?!!" Every lioness piped up. Simba expected as such.

"I know what you're thinking, but I've thought this through; they can stay only if they abide by our rules."

"And how often do they ever obey rules? The only thing they understand is _force_." A lioness stated.

"She's right," Another one admitted, "and they outnumber us by the hundreds, so what're we going to do if they turn rebellious?"

"Didn't I say that _everybody_ was invited to the party?"

"That's why we're having this little chat." A party member plainly replied.

"So you think the hyenas can outstand a herd of rhinos, or elephants, or-"

"Ohhhhh…" The others echoed in comprehension.

He smiled. "So we're in agreement?"

"Yes!!" They all replied.

_Not long after…_

"Now THIS is what I call a party!" Timon exclaimed, tilting his head back to drop in a centipede. Pumbaa chewed a mouthful of many other creepy crawlies nearby. "I'll say!" The warthog agreed.

The Prideland celebration was excelling, everyone was enjoying themselves, and having a great time—even the hyenas were on their best behavior. In fact, if one looked closely enough, they could slightly make out a pair on the edge of the group; a lioness sitting by a large rock, and a hyena, chilling out behind the small boulder, leaning against it.

"Having a nice time?" Inala asked him shyly.

"Yeah." Bongani replied. "Kinda surprised me though, to be honest." He chortled.

She laughed pleasantly, "You're not alone."

Not far away, T and Shenzi were paired off themselves. Not exactly by will though, Banzai and Ed were engaging in a small fighting ring; nothing serious--hardly bloodshed—just a circle of male hyenas surrounding two challengers to see who'd win in the minor brawl. Sometimes a few other species would join in too; two male cheetahs had recently faced each other in a match—both came out unscathed, and even got a few roots from the male hyenas.

"Happy you came?" T asked her matriarch, nibbling a piece of antelope the lioness party had caught.

"Eh, it'd be better if they had better decorating skills."

_Meanwhile…_

"Hmph." A certain, repulsive lioness grunted, observing the festivity in the distance. She arose from the dirt-packed mound she'd been sitting on to glare at the Prideland celebration, and turned away, growling in hatred.

"He insists hyenas attend the royal celebration," She sneered, walking away from the disgustingly cheerful site, "but what of I? Forgotten here, to waste away redundantly?"

She crushed a dry, old branch in her path, now clawing the ground while she walked on. "Who does that brat think he's fooling? They'll be laughing at him again as soon as they return to the Graveyard once the party's over.

"And they should—Scar never needed use of such wasteful affairs, and he was _ten_ times the king Mufasa was. To compare him to that little runt would be an insult to the dead."

Much as the Prideland festivity enraged her, a slight, uncaring glimpse nearby—quickly getting her attention—proved _most_ annoying to the irate lioness. There was her son, Nuka, carefully peering over a small, rugged border, and smiling in the direction of the Pridelands. Her eyes narrowed.

"And just what are _you_ doing?" She hissed.

"Agh!" The 16 year-old lion jumped in surprise, promptly whirling around to face his mother. "Uh, mother," Nuka chuckled nervously, "you scared me."

"Humph, like everything else." Zira derided.

"I was um…just uh-"

"You were watching that despicable nuisance occurring in the Pridelands! You even seemed to be taking _enjoyment_ in it."

"N-no mother! I wasn't watching the _Pridelands_, I was-"

"Don't try to dignify your actions with an excuse. I should put your head in a termite mound for-!"

Before she could finish, something dark and plump on the ground caught her eye. Turning her head, she observed a fresh, young, surprisingly unscathed carcass not that far away. Nearly in awe that his mother could distracted enough to break off in mid-threat, he followed her gaze and noticed the clean kill as well.

"How did this get here?" She said, not taking her eyes off of it.

"Oh uh…that died there. Natural causes…don't know why it chose near my spot." Her son replied, awkwardly glancing at the fresh carrion.

Zira stared, it was a completely untouched prize—there were no breaks or tears in the skin, making the meat undoubtedly clean, _and_ tender; the tiny water buffalo was so young it _had_ to have been scrumptious. Even its appearance was delectable; soft bristles of fur, cute stubs of horns, and a face so innocent it'd make a looming predator cry. …Well, except for Zira.

…They only question was, why would it just drop dead all of a sudden? She turned back to her son.

"Was it acting strange before it died?"

"Uh, sorta," He answered, "I think it mentioned eating some bad berries, kept saying its 'tummy' felt bad. …Poor kid, it was a really sad site to-"

Zira had no time for her son's unnecessary compassion, "I don't need to hear a commentary!" She turned back to the carcass, almost in disbelief at its perfection. It would've been a meal fit for a king…if not for the likelihood of getting poisoned yourself once consuming it.

Then an idea struck the begrudged lioness:

"_A meal fit for a king…"_

…And soon, a malevolent grin breeched across her face.

"Um, mother?" Nuka spoke up timidly, very uncomfortable at the way she stared at the deceased calf. "I'm…sorry for staring into the Pridelands." He fearfully finished; she never forgot anything he did to upset her, and the punishment was always worse if he never apologized beforehand. …Albeit the party wasn't exactly what he was staring at. Nuka was more occupied at gazing off at someone else.

Zira never took her eyes off the carcass, an evil glint in her eye. "Well, I suppose I can forgive you this once—seeing as how we're about to contribute _my own_ appeal at the get together."

* * *

Guests and bystanders all gasped in surprise; some alarmed, some frightened, the rest—mainly lower food chain members—trying not to soil themselves. All backed away as a pair of Outlander lions carelessly made their way to the heart of the celebration, carrying a dead water buffalo on their backs.

T in particular, was _most_ discomforted at seeing one of them.

"I'm not here." She abruptly told Shenzi, prior to darting away from the entire get together. Her retreat was poorly hidden beneath a forest of long-winded grassland. The Kenyan matriarch stared at the single channel of grass making its way to the Elephant Graveyard.

The Pridelander lionesses looked to their king for orders as the Outlanders grew nearer; Simba gave no commands, but stood firmly in the center of the gathering as Zira and Nuka approached. The king looked none-too-happy.

"Good afternoon your highness." Zira almost sneered, as if oblivious to the stern look on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Simba demanded.

Nuka was not naive to the glares and death-looks he and his mother were receiving. Now very uncomfortable, all he wanted to do was get out of here; but his mother would not allow him to abandon her in a parade consisted of happy-go-lucky Pridelanders. Even hyenas were giving them death stares, and unfortunately the one he sought most didn't seem to be at the party at all.

"Why we came to join the celebration." He heard his mother reply.

"This celebration is invitation only." Zazu spat, standing aside the king as he'd done Mufasa so many times before.

"Is it? Well I assumed it was inclusive judging by all your," She purposely smirked at all the irritated Graveyarders nearby, predominantly a certain trio, "less fortunate guests."

Zira looked back to the king, enjoying the chorus of growls in her direction. A particularly incomprehensible growl was clearly given off by Ed, who stood on the left side of Shenzi, who—_much_ unlike her clan mates—showed no reaction to the lioness' insult. "Let's ask kingy if we can get a piece of the action once his girls take her down." She heard Banzai whisper to her.

"I even came with an offering to the occasion." Zira went on, signaling for Nuka to assist her in placing the carcass in front of Simba. He glanced at it indifferently.

"How considerate," It was rare for Simba to be sarcastic, but not unheard of, "but as you can see we have plenty as it is."

"Ah yes," the Outlander lioness examined the piles of deceased herbivores, "certainly enough to sustain your fellow carnivores. But are they nearly as flawless as," she gestured to the calf, "this?"

Simba stared at it perplexedly, tilting his head at examining it, "…How _did_ you find it without so much as a scratch?"

"Simba," Zira began.

"_King_ Simba. "He firmly corrected her. She darkly chuckled, sending a chill up many of the attendee's spines.

"And not only as king, but—from my understanding—an outspoken insectivore, you would not know the numerous methods of bringing down prey?"

"I know enough," He replied, "as _king_ I must also defend my home."

"Fair enough. But did you know there are ways to kill prey without laying so much as a claw into its flesh?"

"Whadja do, make eye contact?" Shenzi cut in. Earning laughs not only from her clan, but from interspecies guests as well—even the _royals_—Zira almost cut in her direction to lash at the matriarch's throat, but held her violent desires back…for now. Instead, she pretended to chuckle along with the joke.

"No. I held it down and smothered it." From the way her listeners reacted, including a few other predators, they were extremely discontented at her technique of choice. She was aware of the grunts and groans of disapproval, as well as the moans of sickness. "Well, it was a very small calf, so it was easy to handle. Besides, the poor thing seemed to be in misery from a broken bone." She pointed to its back leg, for the first time the partygoers noticed the lone flaw of the carcass.

Nuka held his tongue about his mother purposely breaking the bone after formulating her plan of action. And by the smoothness of its course, it wouldn't be long until its chaotic results had ensued; not that he was very eager about it, he was just glad a certain female wasn't here to be disgusted by his mother's story of smothering a helpless juvenile buffalo.

"But making it smother is better?" A lioness stepped in, this one looking familiar to Zira, though she couldn't recall her name. Whoever she was, she didn't seem to mind being abnormally close to one of Shenzi's male clan members, one of the many onlookers giving her a revolted gaze.

"You haven't heard the rest of my story though." Zira explained. "Before I could tear into its flesh, it asked me to fulfill a last wish…"

The sinister glint in her eyes evident to only her son, who looked away in unease, the scheming lioness continued on with the final part of her statement, trying her best to hide her malicious grin. "As you all dearly know, I hold no importance to such matters. That is, until, it told me a _tragic_ tale. Of how in life it'd only been taunted for its _delectable_ appearance. In an effort to prove itself to his herd, and to show its countenance worthy, it asked to be killed in a way that would not harm its pleasing flesh, so that it may be devoured only by the loveliest predator."

"Which obviously _ain't_ you."

"That's enough Shenzi." Simba kindly told her, after yet another multitude of laughter proceeded. Zira almost rolled her eyes.

"Even if it _is_ true, and we all know it ain't-"

"My son can be of witness." The lioness intervened, feeling some relief at for once cutting the hyena off. All eyes turned to Nuka, who glanced at the massive horde, then at the royals, and began wondering just how deep he would get himself into this; he started to doubt if involvement in this scheme was really worth the downfall of Simba's reign…

Then took a good look at his mother and decided anything was better than facing _her_ wrath. He nervously cleared his throat, feeling his abdomen curl in, and began to proceed.

"It was struggling its way past our home, and I can definitely say it was in pain. And I can _really_ say it was awful to watch. So…the kid's better off now that it's…y'know."

"…And the promise it made Zira keep?" Simba asked him. Nuka took another glance at his mother, whose fiery, piercing eyes bore a hole into his face, that cold, heartless scowl freezing his body to the earth, and the most unmerciful claws she used to punish him sheathed out for anyone who looked—which they didn't—to see.

"Yeah. Yeah my mom's been saying nothing but what happened to you guys."

The crowd only calmed about ten percent more, and soon all eyes were turning to gaze at Simba for his declaration. "…If what you say is true then, give the calf to Nala."

Nuka looked away; the spark in his mother's eyes was too frightening to take in large doses. "Well my king," she grinned, "I never said it called for _Nala_."

Thus began a divergence among species so great, it is said to have been audible all the way up to the Great Kings of the Past. Many ranks and groups of animals began conversing amongst another, some confused, some in agreement, _all_ getting a bad feeling about this.

"What do you mean?" A lioness, this time not standing near a hyena, asked. "Nala's beauty doesn't even go unnoticed by _rival_ predators."

A few cheetahs, leopards, and even hyenas, looked away.

"Sarabi was quite popular back in her day." Another spoke up. This caught the former queen's attention. "What do you mean, 'back in her day'?"

"Let's face it, you aren't exactly an eye-catcher anymore." A female hyena piped in.

"Shenzi on the other hand…" A male mused, earning a few suggestive sniggers from his friends. A low growl from Banzai was more than enough to put an end to that.

"Beauty is only skin deep." Sarabi defended.

"That's what they all say." A female hyena snickered, two of her companions joining in.

It was not long until disagreement sprouted amongst every cluster of animals like an outbreak of infective weeds. Even herbivores themselves were in heated discussion—some of them scorning the entire situation, some of them questioning the animal kingdom's sanity, and even a number of them actually debating over whom was most appealing—but nonetheless they were arguing; proving the authenticity of Zira's story to the carnivores.

"WAIT!" Nala shouted, putting an end the squabbling downpour. Oblivious to the inquiring stares she was getting, and ignoring the resentful glares, the present queen turned to her husband.

"Simba, please put an end to all this." She asked. Her husband was shocked.

"You want me to choose between my wife and mother, AND a hyena?"

"Who else has better judgment?" She asked.

"That's not fair!" A lioness piped in. "He's YOUR husband, so it's easy to expect who he'll choose."

Another breakout of pandemonium was at risk now, and Simba feared unless something was done to please all _three_ sides of the commotion there would be disastrous consequences. He thought of everything he could do to cool the animals down, but what options did he have? If he chose his queen or his mother anyone could declare the verdict unfair, and they would end up where they started. If he chose the matriarch then…well, he would just be branded crazy, and it'd be unlikely they'd associate with the Pridelanders again. He was now beginning to regret throwing this whole party in the first place until a tiny, two-legged voice of reason spoke into his ear.

"Pssst, hey buddy," The lion king glanced to his shoulder to see Timon leaning into the curve of his neck, "ya wanna little help out of this?"

He gave a nervous scoff. "The battle for my kingdom wasn't as chaotic."

"I think I can get you in the clear." The meerkat grinned, before whispering something into his friend's ear.

Meanwhile, Nala was trying to restrain two opposing lionesses from leaping at one another, when only a few moments later, her husband settled the dispute for her; multiplied by hundreds.

"EVERYONE!" He paused, expecting the crowd to divert their whole attention. And yet the hectic debate still went on. "YOUR ATTENTION!" No better luck than before. Finally, after a tiresome decision, the mighty lion king deeply sucked in and…

**Roared.**

One of the easier ways to get the attention of a large, bickering crowd, all eyes fixated on Simba as he gave his decision.

"I choose…" He began.

Lionesses held their breath, other animals kept on their toes, Sarabi and Nala waited in curiosity, hyenas…didn't really expect much. Nuka blinked in anticipation, and Zira didn't bother to hide that malevolent smile; she'd been merely sitting there comfortably, taking it all in—every one of her dastardly fruits of labor. There was no way the great King Simba would get out of this.

"I choose to let the females decide who to judge them: Nala, Shenzi, and my mother, it's their choice."

The crowd, needless to say, was stunned. All three females stared; unsure of what to do next. If it was their choice to pick whoever judged between them how would they find the right candidates? Nala and Sarabi hardly knew any male lions beside Simba, though Shenzi knew many male hyenas. Even if the three could find some willing males how would they decide which was _the_ one, vote?

And if they picked a final participant how would he know _how_ to decide? It was evident you couldn't make a lion consider a hyena, and _maybe_ they could find a male hyena willing to contemplate the attractive potential of a lioness, but even then the odds were still very slim.

Finally, after a moment of having her tongue in her cheek, Nala glanced over at Zira and asked, "You said your son was a witness?"

"I did." She verified, still not bothering to hide the grin on her face.

"…In that case," Nala decided, "we'll ask Nuka to choose."

"**What**?!" Zira shouted.

"_What_?" Nuka exclaimed.

"WHAT?" Everybody else reacted.

Zira was speechless; she had intended her plan to cause mass chaos and violence amongst the animals, but never had she formulated it would ricochet into something like this. The circumstances of her own creation were beginning to exceed beyond her power and she knew it. Uneasy about the predicament, though trying her best to seem collected, Zira stepped toward the three main reasons of this dispute.

"W-well surely the other two females in question object?"

Shenzi and Sarabi exchanged glances, until the matriarch turned to the present queen, raising a brow. "I don't exactly recall voting on this."

"Things aren't run quite the same here as a matriarchal society." Sarabi told her.

"You sayin' I dunno how ta be diplomatic?" The hyena said to the other queen.

"But I _do_ wonder why you'd pick without consulting me." The elder lioness asked her daughter-in-law, ignoring the matriarch.

"Hey, if I wanted to have a one-sided conversation I'd talk to Ed!" Shenzi cut in.

"Just trust me." Nala told them.

"I barely know you!"

"Why a _child_ Nala, why not an adult?"

"I gotta go with ya mom-in-law—boy might have ragin' hormones."

"For a hyena?" Nala raised a brow.

"Think you'd have a better shot if we chose a male 'a _my_ species?"

"Will you three stop?" Bongani stepped in. "This is what she wants." He gestured toward Zira.

Shenzi darted her head to the male clan member. "Clamp it."

The three females came to a stand still; locked eyes with each other in a silent, inquiring trice. Any animal with tusks or claws could've easily sliced the suspense in the air. Simba, Zira, Nuka, Banzai, Ed, along with every single animal present, all looked upon the three with anticipation.

Finally, Shenzi looked away for a moment, then with a shrug said, "Fine by me."

"…I suppose I can trust the child's judgment." Sarabi decided.

Simba and Banzai both heaved in relief. Ed began chasing his tail, and Timon wiped his brow as Pumbaa relaxed against a rock. And the once arguing partygoers in the crowd seemed either pleased or relieved by the females' agreement.

…All of course, except Nuka.

"Wait, you three want _me_ to choose who's the hottest out of you?" He took particular note of Sarabi. "But _you're_ old enough to be my mother!"

Glancing at the other two, he said, "And you're married, so why does it matter if you're hot? You already caught one!" Taking one look at Shenzi he stated, "Oh and I _know_ your boyfriend's gonna beat me up!" Shenzi crooked a brow at him.

"Nuka, we're just asking you to do a simple task." Nala assured him.

"It seems a lot more than a simple task, when two thirds of the kingdom are gonna hate you for your decision anyway ya choose!"

"No," The queen firmly stated, then raised her voice loud for all as she glanced about the crowd, "There will be _no_ dangerous consequences for making your choice."

That didn't really help ease the nervous tension boiling in Nuka's stomach—neither did the fact that possibly every single animal in the kingdom had their eyes glued upon him. And albeit there were no scowls and the death looks had quickly disappeared, transformed into fervently waiting expressions, the teenage lion felt _very_ uneasy. Not to mention he had no _idea_ which choice wouldn't infuriate his mother, who would surely disregard that this was all her plan in the first place if he did anything wrong.

So, clawing the ground in agitation, he turned to the three and said,

"Can we take this thing somewhere private?"

* * *

Having Simba order some lionesses to guard the young calf's carcass while the three were absent, Nala sat before Nuka, along with Sarabi and Shenzi, in a vacant, remote cave Shenzi had proffered when their reluctant candidate requested a private conference.

The uneasy teenage lion tapped a claw on the rock floor in uncertainty, then glanced up at the awaiting three. "So…do we do this by category or is it a personality thing?"

"We await here patiently with poise and composure, and you will have as much time as you need to think this over so you can assuredly make your choice. Then we can put this whole dilemma behind ourselves." Sarabi kindly explained.

"Bragging rights is also a perk." Shenzi added.

"Well obviously, I'd pick somewhere between the two females of my species."

"Is that right?" The matriarch rubbed her chin, looking up in mock thought, "Now from what I remember, just yesterday you were chasin' a certain someone through my graveyard-"

"SHE is a special exception!" Nuka firmly announced. _"Though if she WAS one of the females they were fighting about this whole thing would be over by now."_

"No need to rush," Sarabi calmly told the young male, "as I said, you have all the time you require."

"'Course there's nothin' wrong with a little…persuasion." Shenzi invisibly smirked.

"Persuasion?" The two lion queens questioned.

Nuka backed away uncomfortably, "Alright, I know where this is going—I've seen my mom do it enough to scar the warning signs into my head—and I gotta say, you're _not_ my type."

Shenzi huffed. "You _wished_ I meant that. I'm talkin' 'bout personal benefits."

"…That _still_ sounds like-"

"I MEAN BRIBERY YA MORON!!"

"Ohhhh. That sounds _much_ better than what I was thinking. …But it depends on exactly what benefits you ladies have to offer."

Sarabi stepped forward. "I _do_ have much connections being the former queen."

"Sarabi!" Nala exclaimed. "You're consenting to this?"

"It's for the sake of the calf, dear."

"By the time we're done decidin' though that kid's gonna be half-rotten." Shenzi mumbled.

Nala bit her lip for a moment, until sighing, "Alright."

"Well…whatcha got?" He ventured.

"I'll let you rule…one acre of the kingdom." Nala told him.

"One acre? I don't think so." Nuka replied.

"I'll teach you wisdom beyond your farthest assumptions." Sarabi offered.

"…Nah, I hear chicks can be intimidated by a smart guy at times." The lion said.

"In _that_ case," Shenzi offered, "I'll give you any girl you want."

Nuka paused…"_Any _girl?" He asked.

She nodded. And almost at once, he abruptly cleared his throat, then turned to the pair of queens.

"Well ladies, I hate to crush anybody's hopes but, Nuka knows beauty when he sees it. Shenzi, at least out of these two, _you're_ the hottest."

"I told you we should've picked Simba's warthog friend." Nala whispered to her mother-in-law.

"I would've agreed, had it not been for his odor." Sarabi replied, rising to all fours. She nodded to the adolescent lion, smiling with dignity. "Well it's clear where you've set your decision. And seeing your reasons for making it so, I truly hold no resent to you Nuka. May this lead your heart to bliss."

Her daughter-in-law smiled as well, then glanced at the matriarch, "We'll meet you in the east plain with the carcass ready to go." Without another word the two fellow lion queens departed. Nuka didn't waste a second in turning to the matriarch.

Before he could say one word she spoke, "Alright, now it may be difficult finding any lionesses _willing_ to spend time with you, but I think maybe if we tweaked some of your faults you could have a _slim_ chance. …That mane for instance…and that scrawny figure won't do…smile definitely needs work-"

"I WANT TANA!" He yelled. The matriarch was dumbfounded, "Wha…?"

"You said you'd give me any girl I want, and I figure since you _are_ her matriarch, you could get her for me!"

"Her?" Shenzi asked.

"Yeah!"

"Uh, wouldn't you like a different one? One with less…hyena in her?"

"Hey, I figure I could spend all my life looking for a same-species female counterpart, but even you can agree that a lot of lionesses are a dime a dozen,"

"No argument." She shrugged.

"Tana on the other hand-"

"She prefers to be called 'T'. I suggest you learn that if you want a slim chance if _any_."

"Look, she's smart, she's funny—and yes I know, no need to make a pun—she's also caring, and understanding and," he gave a dreamy sigh, "just plain perfect. …Plus, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so, she's kinda…pretty…_really_ pretty."

"Looks like I got my work cut out for me." Shenzi mumbled.

"What's the hold up?" Nuka demanded. Shenzi sighed.

"Well, there's just one problem, besides the fact that she's a hyena."

"I _know_ she'll be reluctant but you her matriarch aren't you? Can't ya just order her to date me or something?"

"…Look kid, you ain't exactly the only male who's got 'is heart set on that girl. You're just the only one who's a _lion_." Shenzi told him. Nuka scoffed.

"How many other hyenas could I have to compete with?" He shrugged.

"I'd say about 10; and those are just the ones willing to fight."

"…Fight?" Nuka mumbled uneasily. He'd never been much of a scrapper, regardless of his opponent; the main reason he never hunted anything less than a quarter his size. The outlander lionesses never allowed him to accompany them, not unless he'd done something to irritate one of them and said lioness wanted vengeance—actual hunting _accidents_ were very rare with Zira's parties' skills, but ploys to get someone killed during a hunt weren't unheard of.

…Truth behold he was a downright wuss. Not that it was his fault mind you—if there was positive recognition for doing a great job of neglecting to provide basic necessities for your child, such as food, water…love, Zira would be a duchess of Priderock.

But, he knew what he wanted, and the scare of fighting for somebody he loved, made him realize he was tired of always being submissive. Fed up being known as meek, or the "wimp" or the guy everybody—including herbivores—could push around. And, being firm for perhaps the first time in his life, he looked at the hyena and stated,

"Hey, you _promised_ me a girl. And if I don't come out of it unscathed the deal is off—no carcass. Comprende?"

"Alright, alright." Shenzi sighed. "But we're gonna need some assistance."

_A few minutes later…_

Shenzi snickered as she brought the meal into the skull, balancing the kill on her back with little effort. "Boys, guess who raked it in?"

Banzai and Ed, who'd been previously lying around in the back, bolted upright. When they saw their matriarch had the carcass in possession their jaws dropped.

"No way," Banzai gaped, "whadja do? Beat it out of 'im?" She glowered.

"I guess unlike you, that kid just has good taste."

She let the meal fall to the ground and immediately dug in; the kill's faultlessness did it no justice—the meat was more savory than she'd ever imagined. If not for its scarcity it would've replaced zebra as her personal favorite. She didn't even bother to hide a delighted groan from Banzai and Ed, who were too busy exchanging glances to notice anyway.

The two males stared at each other; trying to comprehend that Nuka—a lion—had chosen Shenzi—very obviously _not_ a lion—as the most beautiful female predator, out of the two other options, Nala and Sarabi, who were both FEMALE LIONS.

Then the fact soaked in that Nuka was also the same lion who had a not-so-secret affection for their friend T, especially at recalling how he'd nearly burnt himself alive the other day trying to pursue her through a methane vent-infested chasm.

Banzai turned to look at Shenzi, still indulging herself in the meal. "…I'm beginning to think we got the _same_ taste Shenz', if you know what I mean."

_Meanwhile…_

T sighed somewhat disappointedly, fiddling with an antelope bone—white with youth, sticking out amongst its yellowed colleagues—recently cleaned off after sneaking away from the party. She truly wished she could've stayed longer; besides having fun, she hadn't been able to talk to Nala, who she greatly befriended ever since arriving in Kenya. But being one of the animals considered "beneath them" in nearly everything—never mind nature—made contact between them less than acceptable. This party would've been her best chance…

"Oh Ta-…erm, T!"

She groaned; unfortunately there were some things being a "lower" species couldn't safeguard against.

"Nuka, get this through your head," She scowled, turning around to see him happily prancing up to her, "I don't like you!!"

His mood was unaffected as he playfully leaned against the same skull she was in front of. "There's a thin line between love and hate." The teenage lion purred, moving close. T pushed him away.

"One—I didn't say hate, I said 'don't like', and two—no there isn't!"

"I think there is." He plainly stated, and without another word pushed her up against the skull as he ardently kissed her. At first T was surprised, and for a moment sat there—dumbstruck—while Nuka pressed his lips gently, then tenderly onto hers. …Then the second she realized what was going on struggled intensely, and in to time landed a blow to the bold lion's ribcage that knocked him right off. Nuka cringed and held his ribs, but much to T's perplexity managed to grin back up at her.

"…What's with the creepy smile?"

"You'll see." He chuckled.

* * *

Not far away, in a familiar looking tree standing within the Pridelands, an old shaman tossed a few transparent pebbles into the air, catching them without incident and repeating the process again. More than just some pretty-colored rocks, these pebbles—when in capable hands—could be used for far practical remedies in potions; such as curing illness, mending wounds, anything a proper workman could form them to do.

Unfortunately these pebbles could only be formed by the right mixture of heat, pressure, and moisture. Therefore they were a rarity in the Pridelands…but not the Elephant Graveyard. Shenzi had seen plenty of those see-through, appealing rocks near many of the geysers in her home. And had exchanged them with the monkey in return for a favor…

Not far from the baboon, was a strange assortment of ingredients, sitting near a drying out turtle shell; abnormal colored droplets sliding into the bottom, formed a round puddle.

"You have one accident, and you ah set for life!" He cackled, holding the rocks to his chest.

* * *

Nuka waited, gazing to see what T would do. To his befuddlement, she didn't stop glaring at him. In fact, she seemed to be coming closer, as if…STALKING him. His eyes widened in fear, and he quickly started asking questions in hopes of stalling her until the magic worked.

"T?! Um, hey, you look nice today! Feel any different yet? No? Ok! Noticed the weather lately?"

It was a simple plan; Rafiki made Nuka a potion specifically prepared to win T's heart. He even gave the teenage lion the opportunity of distributing it to his liking, which—much to the shaman's slight disgust—involved swathing an antidote onto his lips, then the love potion on top of it; so that he could make T fall in love with him with a kiss, without succumbing to the potion's affects.

Desperate, now that she was getting closer, the adolescent lion conjured up a crafty tactic to immobilize her until the spell took effect.

"How 'bout a game of freeze tag? YOU'RE it!"

Reaching out to her was a mistake; she grabbed his paw—claws unsheathed—and dragged him to her as he tripped over himself trying to get away. He writhed, scraping the ground as she brought him closer.

"Please, T, _sure_ you're not feeling any different?!"

"The only thing I'm about to feel is YOUR-!"

Nuka stopped being dragged across the ground, paralyzing him with fear; this was it, the potion had failed, and now T was going to wreak her unmerciful fury on his meekly defenseless body. Much to his perplexity though, he couldn't feel any punches—he wasn't fearful enough to be numbed of pain, so he cautiously peeled an eye open to see what the matter was.

He saw T had not moved an inch, but something was reasonably different about her: she didn't move. She just…stood there, frozen with a blank gaze on her face, focusing on nothing in particular. Then, much to his slight panic, he felt her claws retract, just before she began pulling him to her once again.

"T?! T please, I'm sorry!!" He fearfully glanced up at her once he had stopped dragging…only to see her smiling down at him tenderly.

"Something wrong?" She asked him. He blinked in surprise, almost in disbelief than at expression so furious as hers had been, replaced with a fond and affectionate disposition. Then even _more_ to his surprise, she felt him cutely playing with his mane.

A moment passed before it finally clicked for the teenage lion that the potion had finally sewed its "lovely" magic. _"It really worked…"_ He thought, amazed. Seeing that kind look she was giving him not faltering for a second, he warily asked her,

"Tana?"

Then hit himself for his own idiocy. "Argh! Stupid! I-I'm sorry, I meant to call you-"

She gently put her paw on his mouth. "It's ok," She giggled, "you can call me whatever you want."

Nuka was speechless; T despised it when anybody called her by her true name. She always hated it whenever Shenzi or someone else who wanted to rag on her used "Tana" in their sentence—be it an insult, playful tease, or polite formality. Recently he'd found out exactly what "Tana" meant, and what

he couldn't figure out was why a couple of hyenas would want their child to be called "bananas", as he doubt T was raised by monkeys. But he could now see why she stressed the use of her nickname.

So for her to _permit_ him to use it was…downright unbelievable.

"…Really? Honest? You won't mind?"

T grinned, "Nope."

He raised a brow. "Even if I come up with some dorky nickname like 'Lovy-kins'?"

The slightly older female giggled again, "You can make up all the names you like, lovy-kins." And, stunning him to no end, she sweetly pecked him right on the nose.

He gaped up at her, his jaw falling to his…lower neck. Then realizing he was still on the ground, the teenage lion immediately got to his feet. He sat up and turned to look her at face-to-face. "You're…you're really happy with me?"

T smiled lovingly, "Of course."

Nuka felt his heart soaring, almost in disbelief at what she told him. "I've…I've waited too long for you to say that."

He moved close, she never stopped looking at him with that cute, affectionate smile. And ever so gently, he stroked his face into her forehead, feeling her bangs brush against his scruffy, black mane. He felt her lean into him, as he wrapped a forepaw around her body.

For the first time, he experienced romantic love.

* * *

And that's how Nuka lived his life for the next few weeks—more happy than he'd ever been in his life. T by his side, just the two of them; it was spectacular. The pair of carnivores were living in an area someplace between the Graveyard and the Pridelands, in the shelter of a curved-over rock forming a den-like haven for the happy couple.

Moreover, with his long-sought after love finally here to take care of him, he saw no use for his mother to be part of his life anymore, so another perk of this was no more abuse from Zira…who was nowhere to be found anyway. Not that he cared.

Nuzzling closer to her, he gently brushed T's bangs out of her eyes to gaze into her pretty face. "I liked that antelope you caught for us today. You were the prettiest one in the hunting party."

She looked away bashfully, "Well I wanted something special for-"

"Our two-week anniversary." He finished with a smile, extending a forepaw to hold her. T happily leaned against his shoulder disc, sighing in content.

"I hope it leads to more than just two weeks, Nuka." She told him dotingly.

"Who knows? Maybe we might convince somebody to marry us. The shaman here is pretty eccentric, but I don't think he'd swing for something like this." He reassuringly stroked her cheek. "But don't worry, I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't find the unlikely amorous relationship between two rival predators both appalling and revolting. Even if we have to trek through three or four different kingdoms we'll find someone."

After that statement however, he looked at her carefully. "…But I don't want you to be lonely. I mean, three or four kingdoms _is_ pretty far away. The nearest one to here is almost a month-long trip. Plus there's always the chance you'll get depressed from missing too much of your home and friends."

T smoothly raised her head up to look him in the eye. "You're forgetting my home is with _you_ now; I could never be lonely. And you carry your friends in your heart; Nala, Ed, Shenzi, and everyone else I know will still be right here when we get back. …We are still going to live here, right?"

Nuka grinned at her and nodded, "Yeah, I don't think I could feel more comfortable anyplace else."

The two smiled at each other before cuddling up for the rest of the night. Nuka wrapped his paws around T as her head laid below his neck. Once the teenage lion thought they were finally settled down, he heard his love say, "Besides, I don't think Shenzi would miss me much anyway."

Prior to resting his head on hers, Nuka simply rolled his eyes; he just hoped Shenzi got whatever she needed from that over-valued carcass.

…Little did he know she received a whole lot more than they bargained.

* * *

_The next morning…_

Ed's ear twitched at the sound of someone gagging. Struggling to get on all fours, he let out a deep yawn, casually scratching an ear with his back leg. Clicking his tongue a few times to get the morning taste out of his mouth, he turned around to see what all the noise was…and gawked at Shenzi hunched over, clasping her stomach. She retched another time, then started gasping as if she hadn't taken a breath in hours. She struggled to hold herself up with her free paw, the one that didn't disappear into her stomach folds each time she had to puke.

Instinctively he raced over to her, looking for any sign of Banzai, who, much to his appall, was nowhere to be found.

Shenzi managed to compose herself, and as if reading his mind, brought her head up and said, "Banzai already went for help, Ed." One second prior to vomiting up…blood. The male hyena's eyes widened as he tried to figure out what he could do to aid his friend. But all that was possible was to wait for Banzai's return, with whatever help there was to be found.

He spent the rest of that morning holding his friend's mane back as she involuntarily threw up on the cave floor.

_That afternoon…_

"Hey, if it weren't for me you wouldn't even have the dang rocks! So since you owe me I suggest you fix this now!" The irate Shenzi commanded, prior to immediately cupping her paw over her mouth as another gag threatened to make affairs _more_ messy. Banzai and Ed ducked out of the way just as Rafiki rushed over with a large hollowed-out fruit skin. Shenzi forced it back down and waved it away.

The shaman shook his head, leaving the hollowed fruit near the hyena. "Be at ease—you're more ill dan you tink." He shook his head again, this time groaning. "Much more."

Shenzi didn't look it; but from the way she nearly vomited herself inside-out, something was terribly wrong with her. Banzai found Rafiki and informed him of his matriarch's unknown, yet serious, condition. Though unsure of what he could do, the primate reluctantly agreed to have her brought to him. Now the trio stood before Rafiki, Shenzi looking worse by the minute. Her cut-throat manner was the only thing un-deteriorated by her illness, as well as the sole thing keeping her decently able-bodied.

"Well what's wrong with me?" She demanded, leaning over the emptied-out skin—just in case.

"What you ah feeling is a serious ailment; it is caused by ingesting a highly toxic species of berry." The primate told her, gathering a few herbs and ingredients in his arms.

"We're carnivores," Banzai spoke up, "we don't eat berries!"

"Leading me to believe it was something your _prey_ ate. Which, if I'm correct, would've caused it to suffer a fate…you yourself may endure."

"N' that's what?" Banzai demanded to know.

"First, you get equal sensations of both chills and fevah. Next—de stage you ah in now—sadistic vomiting of every meal recently consumed, causing trauma to de esophagus, derefore forming an internal injury, making you spew your own blood. Some herbivores experience a terrible stomachache, and skip de next stage. However—depending on your physical endurance—you could experience dizziness, hallucination, and, as it's been known to happen, fall unconsciousness. …And den…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

Banzai and Ed exchanged uneasy glances. The 2nd-in-command turned to the shaman and asked, "You can fix it though, _right_?"

Rafiki paused, stroking his beard in contemplation. "…Dere might be a chance to help her _if_ we treat it early on." He turned to the ill matriarch. "Now tink clearly, did you eat anyting dat seemed untouched for an unknown reason?"

Untouched…why did that word ring a bell? She knew she heard it before—and not that long ago. Soon other familiar sayings began to resurface into her conscious: a prize; flawless; delectable; perfect; not a scratch on it; only the most beautiful-

…And then, it hit her.

"THE CALF!" She unexpectedly sprang up to her feet, near-giving all three males each a heart attack. She turned to the Pridelands shaman, currently gripping the place where his heart would be. "I ate a darn-near perfect water buffalo calf sometime back!"

"Dat would be de reason." The primate scratchily replied, trying to re-catch his breath.

"But I ate that thang _weeks_ ago!"

"De illness can lingah even aftah you've passed on its carriah." Rafiki stated. "Now, how many weeks exactly?"

"Uh, two? Maybe three."

"No time to lose den." He then set to making a concoction which would cure the hyena's ailment. The seriously ill matriarch observed the primate grinding some rocks and mixing them together in another hollow fruit, along with some unknown leaves and powders. She of course knew those same rocks were the valuable pebbles she'd given Rafiki in exchange for the love potion to afflict T. She knew very well just how much they meant to him and why—they were powerful ailment-healers.

Only now did she see the error of her ways, as well as just how "valuable" that carcass really was. One half on her mind was focused on compensating this for T, the other half—the larger half—was focused on one thing as well: vengeance.

"I swear if I ever see Zira again…"

"Now I warn you," Rafiki began, holding out a greenish-looking mixture, "dis will cure all your ailments. Howevah, it has a…very pungent taste."

Shenzi observed the miniscule bits of pebbles bobbing along at the bottom of the liquid. "Yeah well, I'd rather force down rocks than that-"

She would've spewed another time, if not for all three males, grabbing her cranium, then the bowl, then dipping her head back as they poured the mix into her mouth.

_A few minutes later…_

"You feelin' ok?" Banzai asked, he and Ed watching Shenzi like a pair of hawks ever since they made it back to their skull.

"Yeah. I'd worry more about cleanin' the mess if I was you." She narrowed her eyes at the two of them, "And wouldja stop starin' at me?! I didn't need a babysitter when I was three, much less need two now!"

"You weren't puking your guts out at three." Banzai countered, earning a nod in agreement from Ed.

"The monkey says I'll be fine. I ain't even the worst of our problems anymore, anyway."

"Whaddya mean?"

"…You boys ever wonder why T's been missin'?"

"T's been missin'?" Banzai tilted his head. Shenzi rolled her eyes; Ed slapped a paw to his face and shook his head.

"Anyway let's just say she's been…indisposed lately. Fortunately that should clear soon too. And when _that_ happens, my first priority'll be puttin' a price on a certain lioness' head."

Banzai growled. "An' I might hit a chick for the first time." Scowling, Ed nodded again.

"Wait, what about the kid?" The oldest of the trio suddenly realized. "If the guy's mom knew the stuff was bad, then he had to. An' I hear he ain't left the kingdom!"

Shenzi slowly moved her head upward to form a long, wicked grin, "Which is _exactly_ why I sent a few males over his way. But not before tellin' 'em, oh…a few facts I believe they'd like to know."

* * *

Nuka laughed, playfully ruffling T's bangs.

"Quit it!" She giggled, covering them with both her forepaws.

"I can't help it, you know how many lionesses have a mane as cute as yours? …Granted lionesses don't have manes…and I've never actually made physical contact with one that wasn't painful, but still."

T chuckled, "You can be pretty cute too…in your own way."

He raised a brow impishly. "Oh? And what's that supposed to mean?"

She copied the way he raised his eyebrow, smirking playfully. "Maybe if you can catch me I'll let you know."

With the agility of a predatory cat she slipped away from him and darted off. Laughing, she could hear her love yell, "Hey!" and rush after her. T slowed the pace for his sake, as her boyfriend wasn't as gifted in the athletic department as she, and enjoyably let him pounce on her from behind; rolling her onto her back.

He looked so cute pinning her down joyfully like that. She chortled and let him peck her on the forehead. The teenage lion looked at her for a moment, not bothering to move off of her, before eventually saying, "Y'know, I've been thinking."

"Yeah?"

"…Maybe it'd be ok to get a little more…physical with the relationship. That sound good to you?"

She looked off thoughtfully, "I dunno, have we even been dating that long? …Hey!"

The hyena found herself being tickled by her love, right at the place below her neck, making her wriggle in response. "Nuka, quit it!" She laughed.

"Tana's ticklish." He said in a sing-song voice, maintaining his playful gesture.

"Wonder if _you're_ ticklish." A masculine-sounding voice from behind cut in. Puzzling the two, Nuka and T warily glanced upward to see they were surrounded by a ring of tough-looking, adolescent male hyenas. …Ones about T's age.

Nuka froze; these couldn't have been the males Shenzi warned him about, the ones rivaled for the attention of his beloved Tana—or in their case, T, who gently pushed off her lion boyfriend to protectively get in front of him.

"And who're you guys supposed to be?" She growled.

Confirming the 16 year-old lion's suspicions, they didn't seem ruffled in the least when confronted by T. In fact, some of them appeared relieved at her presence. One, Nuka believed he was a hunting party member; not a leader, but a member, a decent-rate guy someone like T might enjoy company with.

"T, are you ok?" He asked, truthfully concerned.

"He didn't _try_ anything, did he?" A second male growled in Nuka's direction.

"I was doing just fine until you all showed up. Why the heck would Shenzi allow this many of you to leave, anyway?"

"She _sent_ us here." A third one spoke up.

"N' it's a good thing she did." A fourth one stated, taking note of the teenage lion.

So terrified by this unexpected occurrence, and so focused on protecting her would-be mate, neither Nuka or T saw a pair of males sneak through the crowd and suddenly grab her by the head and body.

"Hey, let go of me!!" She struggled and tried to bite at or scratch anybody in range, but quickly disappeared within the small crowd. Nuka wanted to rush forward after her but how could he? He was surrounded, outnumbered; by the looks of their anger and/or determination he doubted he could've beat these guys one-on-one!

The pack started to close in, claws scraping at the dirt, angry snarls and growls all penetrating into his brain; echoing so much in his mind he feared he would lose sanity before succumbing to these hyenas.

Then just as his hopes began to sink, a certain 19 year-old female emerged from within the crowd. Nuka's face brightened, and he turned to his love for badly needed assistance.

"Ta-"

But all that he received was a revolted slap to the face. He stroked the bruise from his injury, then looked up to see an irate T, baring her teeth at him. Not far beside her, an unknown male was intently looking at the defenseless lion with a wicked, toothy grin. Nuka believed he had some kind of gourd lying by his feet, crushed and with juices leaking out of it, and for some reason T looked drenched.

"…T?" He tried again. No avail, she approached him hostilely, a furious look in her eyes; a few males even stopped closing in on Nuka, just for the chance to watch, to eagerly await when she would rip into his flesh, tearing the lion to shreds. Nuka feared the worst when she came close enough to press noses, her eyes burning into his own.

"NEVER come near me again." Was all she told him, prior to walking through the tightly-packed small crowd, which allowed her to leave through a slight part they quickly closed in after she'd gone. The confused female hyena walked some feet away from the crowd, before dropping onto her back haunches, rubbing her mind-swirling head.

"What just happened?" T asked nobody in particular, not noticing the four or five males that tagged nearby for her own safety. One of them stepped forward.

"That jerk found a weird potion and made you his little hypnotized girlfriend."

"Fortunately _we_ came to rescue you, and one of us cured you." Another grinned cooly at her, obstructing her view of the other male.

"Uh, thanks." She replied. "I…_guess_ that could make sense. By the way, do I know any of you guys?"

At that question, for some reason, every pair of eyes in that solely-male crowd lit up in anticipation.

"Would you _like_ to?" They all asked.

Meanwhile, with the remainder of all of T's nameless admirers—the more vengeful ones, Nuka was getting very uneasy. Mostly because he was circled in by about ten or fifteen bloodthirsty males, all of them each formulating some way to cause him permanent, if not fatal, injury; along with lasting multitudes of pain.

"Oh boy…"


End file.
